What happens when the person you like/ madly inlove with likes you back ?
I lived till(:
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Do you think you would be happy? To me, I think after it all ( the chasing, the sadness that she doesnt like you back, etc. ), after everything, you wouldn't find it much big of a deal. Or at least I dont think I would find it much big of a deal.
Isn't it true? People tend to go for someone they know they cannot have and isn't it true that people last longer in an abusive relatioship. ( one is the giver, the other just takes. )
But i guess, that is how all human beings function. We always want someone even more once we get rejected. My point is that, why try? If you like someone so much and you go steady with him/her, you would end up breaking up one day.
Vikthor said that, that is true, but we've to look at the hurt as a learning experience. Frankly speaking, I do not want to hurt anyone and on top of that, I do not want to get hurt myself.
Sometimes I wish i were a guy, then i wouldn't have to feel anything, but then again, I wouldn't want to get the asshole of the year trophy either.
I'm so full of nonsence right now, so i better just shut up and not act smart.
And so Binky do feel, just that I dont always work on my emotions. And I just chuck them away, somewhere at the back of my head. Maybe, just maybe, one day i would blow up. And till that day comes, I'm just going to be happy.
Fly away with me and I will bring you to Neverland.
I just woke up 15 minutes ago. I am in a foul mood right now, feeling quite sad i must say. But I'm still controlling myself. I hate this bitch mood I'm having right now, thinking that i need someone in my life, thinking that i do like someone when I'm pretty damn sure I dont. I follow my head not my heart.
Sometimes I just wish people wouldn't judge.
I want to fly out of the window, I think I'm nuts right now, so ignore me. I guess you can't leave Binky alone after her afternoon/evening nap, or else she would want to die or would want to do something stupid, like telling the person she likes her. Maybe, I would delete this post tomorrow. I wouldn't want people coming up to me, asking me who i like. I dont even know who i like myself. Anyway, I'm self centered, no one likes a self centered person.
Fuck, I'm so full of complains. Never mind, I'm pretty contented with my life then.
The EVIL asscock ( TOAD the IDIOT ) next door.
Toad is one of the most weakest, irritatingest, auntified, evil person I've ever met in my life.
She is aunty as she keeps thinking terrorist would attack her ( I actually think, the terrorist would kill themselves once they see her face. )
She is so effing weak, just because i call her an asscock, she would start crying out for her mummy, which is really IRRITATING.
And she is evil because, she is Toad.
She's so mean lah, she doesn't even take the initiative to offer me lunch/ buy me lunch. She only comes to me when she looses her back gate key and wants me to help her open the door ( because she cant climb over the gate as she is weak. ) . Well, I guess Toad is sweet at some point, she gave me her biological porcupine DAUGHTER. She keeps thinking Toad jr is male, so I told her She is female and I'm going to make her DAUGHTER wear a cheer leading outfit. And do you know what she said ? SHE SAID " EEE TRANS ! " -_- WHAT KIND OF SICK PARENT WOULD SAY THAT, yes so i think she should not give birth any more. And I told her " she is female, and I'm going to make yr daughter wear a skirt, CAUSE SHE IS GIRL, i wouldnt want her to turn out like YOU! ( tomboyish. ) "
From this post, i can conclude that Toad is not the sort of person you would want to meet ( unless you want to beat her up lah. ).
TOAD LOVES ME! =D It's true, she can't stop talking about me in her blog. Yes lah, Toad, come my house and I'll lend you more sex novels. ( This is not a trick stupid head. )
Woke up at an ungodly hour, 8.30am! Yes, and I was the earliest to wake up. Murizz called. Murizz was late once again. So annoying, but what can I do right? cause she is Murizz after all. took a bus to AhLaiSha's house. Met Elaine at her place. Her mom fetched us to the bukit timah house. there was so much stuff.
Decorated the place, the christmas lights was being the biggest bitch amongst the rest of the decos. IT COULDNT ON after we've decorated it on some window thing, so went to buy new christmas lights which costed 15 dollars. went back to the house, opened it, the lights were so fragile, that almost all broke? so went back to the store for a refund, god Murizz and I were so tired. the Bitch at the store wouldn't want to give us new lights and he doesnt want to give us a refund, what a bitch.
Went to coldstorage with Murizz, to try to relax ourselves in the aircon, played and fooled around. Murizz went talking to strangers once again, crazy asshole. Yeah, went back. Sam came at around 5. Celest came later. Yogi Bearo and Lizardo came at around 6pm.
All so dressed and ready, and then all of us were in our singlets, tee shirts, basically the clothes you wear to your down stairs coffeeshop. Yeah, bathed changed. Wore black top, white skirt. did my hair. Eunice and Lizardo were sleeping on the bed ( lazy ass bartenders. ) Oh yes. But Yogi Bearo taught Lizardo how to mix drinks. I must say that her drinks were quite shiok. Except that she didnt add alot of V inside it. Yeah anyway. soon Candy and Juliet came. The party didnt get started until 8.45pm. quite late huh. I WAS A BOUNCER, and so was Hippo. Okay so Hippo did most of my job. But i did help. Okay the people which i know who came were :
Mouse, Nigel ( I kinda know him I guess, the last time i saw him, he looked p2. now he looks sec2. ) Zombie Murizz Sam Celeste Elaine Juliet Candy Yogi Bearo Lizardo Dreg ( believe or not, she came alone. ) Hippo AhLaiSha Dory and probably some others which i cannot remember.
I probably dranks 10 cups made by Yogi Bearo, i do not trust Lizardo lah.
Frankly speaking, i would give them a C for hygene . Okay or at least for Yogi Bearo. The first drink i drank, there was a fucking mosquito inside. -_- i was so ... grossed out, Okay maybe I wasnt. And Lizardo on the other hand, after she made Murizz her drink, Murizz told Lizard it doesnt taste so nice, 5 seconds passed then lizard shouted " OH MURIZZ GIVE ME BACK GIVE ME BACK I FORGOT TO STIR! ".
wah lan eh! HAHAHHAA.
Lizardo is so funny, she loves to sit down during her WORK. You've to shout at her to get her ass moving, she keeps wipping the table and Yogi Bearo is one perfectionist, she kept moving the candels and all? crazy leh.
Okay lah, the drinks were good. :D hahaha. I had a few of Lucy specials from Yogi Bearo herself. She anyhow mixed ( or rather she mixed the correct things together and it tasted real cool. ) :D
AhLaiSha gave me 3 free drinks in total, I bought 3 free drinks for myself, i had one free drink cause of the entrance fee, and some more drinks. I probably drank 10 drinks in total. Thanks to Yogi Bearo, I was stonning at the couch ( after Lizardo and Eunice have left ) for over at hour.
Alot of guys came, ALOT, as in ALOT. So basically, danced alot ( with rachel esp. ), drank, barely ate, talked, irritated Yogi Bearo, talked to Drego ( didnt want to leave her alone as she really didnt know anyone there. But i could tell she was checking Cia out. ) She left pretty early though.
Yogi Bearo gave me a drink before she left, and I was already quite stonned then, well but was still quite sobber, thanks to her I WAS EXTREMELY STONNED.
Okay so yes i was so stonned. I was sitting alone on the couch until, some guy called Derick or something came up and talked to me ( he must've been really alone too, he came with his brother. ) He's from barker, i was so frank towards him, i told him i hated barker guys and some more rude shit. Murizz joined us. talked talked. then stonned like hell alone. Next thing i know, I was walking towards 711 with Murizz and 3 guys.
Mashpotatoes were screwed. so bought a sandwich. walked back. slept from 3.30am all the way to 7am, then moved bed, slept on the same bed as Murizz. slept till 11am. then woke up then went back to sleep until 1pm. woke up. helped to clear the mess.
the people who came the earliest to the party ( which was Elaine, AhLaiSha, Murizz and i. ) were the people who were the last to leave. Ironic but true.
I think i shouldn't have stayed over actually. ( no offence, it's just not my thing. )
Infact, i think i should've left when Lizardo and Yogibearo left. It was the purfect time to leave actually.
Yeah so AhLaiShas mom fetched all of us home. Thank you for the fantabulous parrty :D
She kept saying it sucked, when actually i thought it was quite good. It was such an ancient house, but it was nonetheless still purfect. it even had a bar table and it was jus nice. :D
Okay. great party. Anyway, i would just like to add that Yogi Bearo Leech Lucifer Lucy is the biggest bully on the planet earth, followed by Toad.
Toad told me to rename everybody to nicknames in my blog. so i shall just do that.
Nerzz, i want my scv controller back. My fucking brother is being such a fucking bitch, nagging about the controller, he wants me to go to your house ( which is at thomson. ) to get the controller from you. Sometimes, i just want to tell him to go eat shit. Okay my dad suddenly opened the door, fucken hell frightened me. i hate people who dont knock and just "HELLO!" and come in.
I lived till(:
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Anyway, Murizz, Siewhwee, Phoebe and Kelly just left my place. -_- Murizz told me that if Phoebe's house was getting boring, then she would come to mine.
What she didn't tell me, is that she was going to bring 3 other girlfriends. LOL. party huh! crazy bunch of asswipes. LOL.
Came my house, and i was BARELY DRESSED. ( that's why i do not like it when someone comes to my place, without telling me first, or at least warning me. )
I guess it is fine, if you were someone whom I'm really really close too. BUT ANYWAY, they came, and I was in my huge tee shirt ( for those who know me, you know what kind of shirt I'm talking about. ) and underpants.
So i had to run to the toilet and dress decently.
They came, so that I can entertain them. Frankly speaking, my house is only good for watching cable television, reading sex novels, sleeping ( my bed has gazillion pillows, bolsters, blankets, fluffy things. ), watching Queer as folk, watching L word, using internet without a curfew or just eating a free lunch/dinner/supper/breakfast/snack. Other than that, i don't think there's anything really entertaining.
Yeah, in the end we all crowded around my flat screen and indulged ourselves in season 1 episode 1 of THE L WORD. =O Murizz was so sad when Kelly had to leave ( and basically everyone wanted to leave too. ) and she couldn't watch season 1 episode 2. :D Addictive huh. Well maybe, since Shane is such a HOTTIE. ( i think i've said that for the 1000th time already. )
Yeah, they left at around 8.15? or something like that.
Oh yes and i remember something really embarassing, i thought Kelly was Charlene ( i hope i spelt her name correctly, she's Yogi Bearo's sister. ) -_- so embarassing.
Okay, i cant wait for LOST later and ONE TREE HILL! Even though I dont really get the story. One Tree Hill, is sooooo fucken confusing. At least i could tell who was who the first time i watched L word .
Anyway, Party tomorrow. I'm suppose to help Alicia Tan promote it, I guess.
Anyway, since Yogi Bearo blogged it, I might as well too.
Black and White party
start 8 onwards
wear black or/and white
If you wear other colours you would have to pay 10 bucks for entrance fee.
7 bucks if you wear the correct attire, and one free drink.
Other stuff are free.
Call me for the address, I won't give it out, UNLESS you contact me. Through tagboard, through sms, through phone number, whatever. :0)
Please come, and I'm the BOUNCER, so you better watch out!
I want to throw Yogi Bearo around on friday, at uninvited guests and at people who don't dress in either white or/and black
I lived till(:
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Guess what? I'M A BOUNCER ON FIRDAY! i'm so bleeding excited!
Alot of people, well actually, MURizz, Eunice ( especially EUNICE! ) and Tanny said I am too small. Well, i'm going to take my baseball bat and whack the shit out of them on friday. SEE WHO'S TOUGH NOW HUH! hahah, so random.
And i also volunteered to be the act cool DJ, hehehe, even though there's really no disc mixer ( or what ever the hell that is. ). -_- Alot of people said that they wouldn't be able to see me behind all the stuff. To be specific, it was all the people i talked to yesterday or rather this early morning, online.
I will take my baseball bat and whack them up on friday.
But for now, i'll be going to a nice little bungalow at Changi, details will not be published, as i do not want uninvited guest coming in, not paying and pissing my boo off. Yeah and guess what? I smsed Nerzz at 2am, asking her why she hasn't been replying me and what is she busy with, well she is at the place Charis is gonna have her party at, AND I DIDNT KNOW SHE WAS AT CHURCH CAMP, until i called her, then i realised, we're having the party at where Nerzz church camp is held at! heard it's really huge. :)
I'm going to be a marine animal, wearing all blue. :D nice pretty blue dress from phuture london.
Okay, but for now, i'm off to buy a baseball bat. :D
Self centered people, PISS OFF AND EAT MY SHIT!
I lived till(:
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Hello, sorry, that was awfully rude, but i feel awfully pissed right now.
set alarm at 10.30am, but in the end woke up at 11.30am.
Oh god, i had the WEIRDEST DREAM!
well actually, i've been having really weird dreams, really interesting ones too. These are the sort of dreams that when you wake up, and when you try to remember what the dream was, the more you try to remember, the more you forget and they are the sort of dreams that would make you stay in bed for another 15 more minutes. 15 minutes spent pondering, thinking and stonning.
Yeah woke up, read this so called magazine thing "fucking without complications" i hope it will publish, cause i will definately buy it. It's so funny.
Yeah so anyway, my back is still aching, from friday night till now, except it's sorta improving, i guess.
Changed bathed, ate, did my shit, watched tv. left for town.
Daddy was home though, he came back from sarawak.
Yeah went to town to meet Zoe. Once i reached orchard, Zoe just boarded the bus. so hung around wistma's Topshop. Ann Nas Mother called, regarding tuition. God, she talked for 30 minutes if i'm not wrong, imagine my bill. But never mind. :)
So met Zoe at lucky plaza, the lights cost 120 dollars, holy cow, i'd rather NOT. So yeah, and then there was another one, BUT it's placed on the floor. I dont know lah. maybe i should've gotten that one. Ho Hums.
Anyway, walked to Far east, did her math homework, or at least a little bit. the place was driving me up the wall, the ammount of ahlians, mutts, minahs and then there was of course, ZOE ! ewwww! major ewww!
ANYWAY, left the place, went opposite, went to use the toilet, what a nice place! anyway took a train home. tried to set up my ipod mini, so now it's sorta set up already. i forgot what i did. i watched some 7pm show on channel five, GOD , it was so funny! and i dont even know what the show is called.
anyway, party is tomorrow, i'm going to wear a nice little dress. hopefully i won't tear it. :)
Okay, i lost my eye liner, geez.
I've just realised something. ( Besides the fact that i'm wearing a bra at home. )
I lived till(:
Monday, June 20, 2005
I've just realised that i prefer parties where i do not know any one compared to those where i know EVERYONE.
I'm totally fine with parties where i know everyone, but problem is that, i don't like it when people whom i know through names but i dont know personally, goes to the party. ( but still i'm fine with it. I'm just making a preferance here. )
And parties with older people are the best. :) it makes you feel young. And well, getting to know people is fun but getting to know people who are older is much more fun. Don't know why, but most of the older people i know talks sense. And I love to go to such parties with a bunch of people whom i know really well.
What I'm trying to say is that, i enjoyed midnight affair ALOT.
Okay, i've just watched the show on channel 5. and i forgot what i was typing. So i'll just post it from here.
Apparently, i've done finish my comprehension and i'm not going to do the summary. too lazy and i do not like summaries, even though it would only take me 20 minutes to do one.
Haha, apparently, all the jokes which people have told me before are coming back into my mind.
I remember my sisters lesbian friend telling her this
" Do you want ice cream? Strawberry or chocolate?
I DONT WANT ANY EFFING ICE CREAM UNLESS IT'S ON A PUSSY! "
Dirty jokes are so funny and the way she said it made it sound funnier.
Another recent one, From Zoe the hippo.
ttyl my shit's coming out in half a second.
Voraciously Vikki-baba: I should not argue with Sexually confused people like Tanny. I aint a bully, Toad is just weak! says:
Voraciously Vikki-baba: I should not argue with Sexually confused people like Tanny. I aint a bully, Toad is just weak! says:
shiok........ my shit all out
( puts the dancing banana emoticon. )
LOL, she's one sick basturd!!!
this is a very random post.
I'm blogging, because, i've got nothing else to do, or rather, i dont feel like doing my homework.
Sometimes, tanny just cracks me up, and sometimes i just want to punch her head off her neck.
quote " Something cool? i'm lookin in the mirror already and i see something cool " or at least she said something like that. oh god, her ego gets the best of her. tsk! And she's one sexually confused freak, god, get your gender facts right, WOMAN.
Yeah, as you can see, that was very random and very honest. :0) after all, i'm a honest little angel. 0:) Yes, I'm an angel, unlike lucifer/ Lucy ( you know who you are ! ).
It has been 4 days since i've last seen elizabeth and it has been one day since i've talked to her online. Where is she! Never mind. I'll go prod her the next time i see her.
It has been 9 days since i've last seen Nerzz and it has been 2 days since i've last talked to her online. Where is she! Never mind. I'll go kick her the next time i see her.
It has been 9 days since i've last used my SCV remote controller. I'm so depressed, i miss her so much. Her is my SCV remote control, and yes she is female. ( tanny, you better dont question peoples gender. ) Where is she? At Nerzz house/ bag/ whatever, it's just with Nerzz. I'm gonna kill Nerzz when i see her.
Oh yes, i got this safari package thing, which seems pretty stupid. well guess what? i got the golden ticket, so now i can claim some shit which costs 95 bucks. wow, cant you see i'm so excitedly happy.
School is going to start in 6 days and 7 hours and 53 minutes. But it is 6 days, 15 hours 18 minutes if you want to include the day school starts. God and i've still got one news paper article to do ( i've the urge to do on chloe, but never mind. Maybe the Birdy's bigger version died of a heart attack after reading about chloe ), one book review, one comprehension, 2 chapters of chinese to learn, summary on clay marble, summary on one of the 7/11 stories, and a bunch of math question. frankly speaking, i'm damn sure i can finish everything within 4 hours. But why would i want to do that? And i get distracted very easily.
( that's why you may find me talking about food and the next minute suddenly talking about my middle finger doll. )
I'm technically not bored, but just in need of company. ( No, i'm not in need of my family's company as i always see them ) But i'm in need of friend company. Oh well, i guess i enjoy being alone. after all, it's rare to find Binky at home and her brother out. And it's rare to even see my brother not at home, and it's even rarer to see me at home without my brother disturbing me everyone 5 seconds.
My table seems pretty neat, i guess. except for a bunch of worksheets which seem like they're oozing out of the space i've put them into. Okay, i'm off to do my comprehension.
One homework down, 1000 more to go.
oh fuck, i've just realised i've not done my 22 CIP hours. oh wells, i'll do flag day, i'll find something to do anyway. But i'm extremely sure the Rifle would come after me on the first day of school and ask me why i've not done my CIP.
Don't question my authority! Well, i won't question your authority, and i'm not even questioning your authority, I'm just pissing you off, because you dont even respect me. (: You will never bring me down, because I will sit on you!
Wow, that was extremely random. TOODLES `
Highlight of the week :
Tanny wants the secuirity guard.
And not me, as i said, she has a major crush on him. to be much more specific, she wants the fat indian one who always works night shift. HAHAHA.
I’m sitting at home in Singapore, while she makes the cover page even though she’s in new Zealand.
I lived till(:
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Let me tell you why I do not like Singaporeans. Even though I am one. Or rather why I do not like the Singapore society.
Firstly, they try to make everyone look bad, they brainwash everyone by saying that sex is bad for health. And the society lives in self denial. Every country has gay men, gay women, the only difference is that, Singapore does not acknowledge it, instead they deny. And then the schools, try to make lesbians and queers feel small about themselves, saying that homosexuality is wrong. ( well that is if you’re a Christian, but not everyone is Christian ) and anyway, god forgives all sinners right? Schools, TSK, to me they seem like pharoses. The people jesus hates, the people who try to correct other people, the people who discriminates prostitutes, the people who needs fixing. Just like Singapore, my country needs fixing. Yes, it is damn safe and everything, and the people are really smart and all. But Singapore, will never excel in the arts, because they/we are too arrogant. Isn’t it true? After all, Olinda cho who obviously had the best voice among taufik and Sylvester did not win, probably because she was too boyish, seems too gay or some shit like that. And Sylvester probably did not win because Singapore wouldn’t want to send their idol who has a mom who owes money, to a national competition. And if we do excel in arts, or rather some one in Singapore excel in arts, that person would probably immigrate to another country. After all in Singapore, everyone is too narrow minded. If you paint a nude model, or if you take nude models, you’re considered sick in the mind, when actually, you’re doing this out of art. Everyone is too judgmental.
The Singapore society lives in self denial and is too arrogant to make any corrections.
I still could remember what happened to me, that photograph, they say I brought shame to the school and all that bullshit, and they said “ and the flag is right behind you! You bring shame to the country!” Well, wake up, there are gays in Singapore, so you’re actually implying that the gay people of this country ( and if I’m not wrong, Singapore is rated one of the countries with the most gay people. ) are disgracing singapore. How crude. You ought to be shot and not me. And how can you expel someone just because they’re gay? Unless of course they’re doing their thing in school. But I guess we’re not allowed to say what we think right, or else we might get killed? Just like the pig in animal farm.
Strangely, I found out that the tabloid was much more fair compared to straits times. STRANGELY. Or rather, they’re just effing bias. My brother said “oh you know why? Because they don’t encourage people to share their own personal views. If you study history, those who share their personal views would get killed. Just like in animal farm”
History repeats it self, we don’t get killed literally, but the media tries to kill the shit out of us.
And another thing, why I do not like Singaporeans. They’re once again too arrogant or too narrow minded.
Quote from Wendy, “But I must say that I couldn’t read beyond a few entries because her blog bores me. Sometimes she writes in very cheem language. For the average reader, you just want to get the idea or the joke, laugh and move on.”
And that’s when you realize that she probably didn’t understand her blogging and her English. After all an elderly lady could understand it. I thought Chloe answered the question really well to the papers though.
Quote from Sylvia toh, the lady who is quite old and could understand Chloe’s posts “ SPG is a thinking girl, has strong views and expresses them fluently and creatively”
How bias is this country? How ancient is this country? Well very. In fact, I’ve to agree that the Singapore society is at least 2 decades behind everyone else.
Today, woke up at 1030, or 11, my neck hurt like mad. some one, please give me a massage?
Anyway, had piano, then read clay marble, took an afternoon nap from 3-4. charis called, woke me up. we talked about the party. Anyway, got changed and dressed, went to the MRT station, met kris and marisse. marisse was fashionably late once again. Took the train down to orchard. got a poster, used it as a mat. went to orange julius with marisse to get some hotdogs. I cant really remembered what happened, but we were jumping like mad when electrico and ronin played. ronin was aweeeeeesome. kristle did not jump due to her slippers and heavy bag. well some people kept taking pictures of both marisse and i. marisse was so turned on by the malay doode. after the concert, marisse suggested to go to yogi bearo's house, so i called yogi bearo, she said no, too tired, and a whole bunch of excuses which made no sense. well bottom line was, she was tired and she was way too lazy. Marisse, said " no lah, lets just go and irritate her. or just hang out. she's not so mean one lah. she will come out. "
So kris and i trusted her. we went to Yogi Bearo's house. Yogi bearo refused to open the door, so we talked through her window. so silly. she was watchin bubble boy while marisse was trying to commit suicide. kris on the other hand was being a pervert, no need an explanation for that. Stood outside her house for 1h and 10min. THANKS TO MARISSE'S INTUITION, WE WERE GOD DAMN TIRED. but it was fun. The boring part was that Yogi Bearo doesnt feel guilt. :( she doesnt feel guilty while she sits on her couch watching tv, in such a lovely home and while we starve outside her house. But i guess, why should she? after all, she told us we shouldnt and couldnt come. SO LAME. anyway, it's all marisse's fault.
Yogi bearos house = petting zoo. =D
Anyway, took a cab back. and now kris is at my place. =D
thats all. G'NIGHT AND G'DAY.