I lived till(:

Saturday, December 03, 2005
I watched Prime yesterday with my Woman. I thought the show was realistic and yet sweet.
Uma Thurman looked as hot as always, do you know she's so bloody skinny and tall.
Anyway, Woman kept snoring last night and I almost punched her face because of that, she slept in my room last night.
Anyway, I only had proper sleep from 7am plus onwards? Cause she left the house with my dad.
What am I going to do today?
I think I'll go take a shower, take out some extremely old water paints and work with them.
The latin lounge music is such a turn on. (:

2:06 PM

I lived till(:

Thursday, December 01, 2005

There was a very huge response and there were more than hundreds of people who stayed all the way till 3am.
Girls were dancing and People were every where, they were on the floor dancing, on stages, all over the place!
And we even had our own Ang Moh Celebrity who came down to check it out himself.. EINSTEIN FROM COWS AND CRAYONS!
And the non alcoholic drinks tasted wonnnddderrrfulll!
So for those who Enjoyed Fling and for those who did not go, well...
No worries people, There's going to be another party.

19th DECEMBER ( party right before your christmas! )
Doors will be opened from 9pm and you'll be able to party till 3 in the morn!
Presale : $14 ( AND IT COMES WITH A DRINK!! )
CALL VICK @ 93383450 OR MSN ME : little_sweet_barfer@hotmail.com


9:01 PM

I was lying down in front of the television, using the coffee table to support myhead as my eyes were fixed on the Bravia screen, watchin Transit.
" Your legs are actually quite well toned out "
That's what my brother said, you wouldn't imagine how happy I was.
Knowing that I'm fat, ill and I've to stay home and yet he was able to say my tighs, the huge elephant things below my huge waist? Yeah he was able to say they looked nice and shapely. =D=D

8:39 PM


after a week or two

I couldn't sleep this early morning.

And I couldnt scan what I did last night cause the paper's too big.

I never said I could draw.

11:31 AM

I lived till(:

Wednesday, November 30, 2005
I just took one and a half hours to sketch myself or rather one hour. And I feel like a proud soldier who just came from army, so eager to show off all them honoured medals and stuff, except I'm so eager to post my sketches online cause I felt that I did a really good job this time.
Comparing this one to the other two the previous week, (: Hehehe, I'm happy.
Is it me, or don't you just hate it when your parents come into your room without knocking.
Not only do I lose my concentration but I get bloody pissed off cause they keep coming in asking me the same questions, such as, are you going to be fine, go tell your father whats wrong with you.
Anyway, my father budged in, and I was drawing a sketch and beside my sketch was this other diagram I've drawn of a semi naked lady, except her titties were not installed yet and there was no signs of vagina on the plain white paper.
But I guess he could figure it was suppose to be a naked lady, after all, there were two lumps being drawn.
Him: whats that!
Me: er, nothing.
Slips it under huge sketch paper.
And then my mother suddenly barged in while I was still in the middle of a sketch.
So she knows what I was drawing

Me : AHH! ( when she suddenly opens the door ) can you like knock!
Her: Eh ( blahblahblah ) I wasn't really paying attention cause I was busy trying to sit on the sketch paper, so that she won't see what I'm drawing.
Anyway I figure that she thinks I'm depressed.
Her: Eh, you drawing yourself ah. LOL.
Me: eh...-.-
Her: You look like you got a headache'
Me:. ....
Her: You know they say an artist expresses their feelings in their mirror.
Me: eh..-.-
Her: What am I talking about! LOL. I mean they express their feelings in their drawings!
Me: eh..-.- uh huh..
Her : walks outta the room.

I was listening to evanescence when my dad barged in, so maybe they'll give me a heart warming conversation. Which I utterly detest.
I dont know what is it, but I don't like to bond with my families through problems.
I only like it when we have fun, laugh and socialise with other family members.
I dont like it when they're trying to be here and trying to help me, it just feels awkward you know.
Sometimes I wonder, how it'll be like when they die, sadistic I know, but still. I cant help but say, I may regret.
The bond between my father and I ain't very strong.
Yeah sure we seem well off, but I dont actually say I love you, it makes me want to hurl everytime I feel obliged to say it to him, maybe even somewhat embarrassed.
I dont know how I am able to not regret when he is with god, its like, he is gone, I wont be able to ensure myself that he knows that I love him and all.
Its easy to give me advice like " Start now, before bed time go say I love you! "
Its just awkward, its somewhat like saying I love you! and I want toshare my problems with you to like your friends friend.
And I guess the only possible way for him to know that I love him, is to be happy.
Be happy with life, isn't that true?
What's better than to see your kid/wife/mother/father happy.
Maybe I've finally placed a front for him , to show him " hey daddy I'm happy. "
Maybe I've finally came down to this position of just giving up the I love yous and just be happy and enjoy the company and show him that I are his wonder child, that I can be all that he wants me to be.
And not show him my flaws, not showing him how weak/ how many problems I may have.
After all, I've decided, he deserves better and showing him my problems will only add up to his worries.
I've decided, I'm going to be happy at least for the sake of him.

8:42 PM

I just had a really weird dream yesterday, it consisted of Alyssa and Casendra ( spell? ).
Both of them are really good in art. So it was around early morning or maybe even afternoon, anyway, the light came into the room and looked really beautiful.
Well Cassendra went mad and started doing mad things which made me hurt Alyssa physically. I think it consisted of me throwing at eraser at her foot, oh my godZxZXx, HAHAHA.
And that area, which the eraser had hit turned red. goodness.
Anyway, we started to fly?!
Or rather, I started to fly.
It was rather cool. And then soon Alyssa started to fly.
And the way we flew was exactly the same as how Harry Potter travelled using the portkey ( the boot in the show ).
Except I was flying that way and she was also flying that way and then we held each other hands. And started flying that way and soon someone joined us.
( It was how we would look like if we went sky diving together yah know. )
Anyway, we flew across this huge junction, I cant remember if it's the PIE or CTE or whatever E but yeah.
And I cant really remember what happened next.

Anyway the doctor called me today, not good news I guess, and maybe I won't even be going to church this sunday. It already takes all the energy outta me just walking to the doctors, I really dont think I'm able to go all the way to suntect and keep up with the family. I'd probably have to rest 1/2 the time.

Oh man they're fogging the bloody condo now. CONDOMMM.
Anyway, an old friend, or rather, a friend which I've not talked to in ages, Glynnis just reminded me how special I am in her life.
I guess it's the littlest things in life that makes life worth living.
A simple " I miss you " testimonial on a stupid website like friendster, really made my day.
Yet it makes me think, why we stopped talking.
I guess we fell apart and did not bother to meet up or anything. So maybe it is hard, to maintain a friendship unless you know you truely need the person.
And if you do lose a friendship or rather just fall out and stop talking for a while, you might even realise how special she is to you after a while.
How nice she has been.
Glynnis and I used to share a blog together, Monkeybuds.blogspot.com
I thought it was adorable, cause I did the blogskin and she came up with this huge picture of two adorable monkeys, one is me and one is her of course.
I've always loved Glynnis despite the fact that she listens to chinese music, and that she vommitted on this bbq party of mine more than 10 times and on my living room floor once. And despite the fact that she can't hold her alcohol and acts insane when she is drunk, I love her alot.
Even though we maybe really different, I guess it ain't so hard to love someone after all. She is so different and I've came to love her.
And after all, everyone is nice. Even if it means an Ahlian, an Ahbeng, a dumbass, everyone have their side of nice.
And after all these months of not talking to Glynnis, I realised that our friendship was actually quite tight.
Sometimes I wish I was 12 again, being 12 was the best year of my life. Good friends, Stupid boys that I could manupilate( muaha? ) and a loving form teacher.
But it's not good to idel in the past, after all, that's why the future is here for us.
So that we can live it, and the past is where we learn things and know that we should not have done that and the past is where people leave scars on us emotionally.
We learn that friendship will not last and we also learn that some friends are just too hard to forget.
And so I guess maybe I do, miss her after all these months.

What a nice girl.

9:33 AM

I lived till(:

Tuesday, November 29, 2005
There is this kid I met quite recently that texted me about 6 times already, but I did not reply any. I guess I do feel rather mean turning him down, I'm just making up excuses to myself like : Maybe I'll reply him once I get well .
I mean, I sure would not love the fact if I'm trying to text someone for more than 3 days and to no avail the person seem to be turning me down on every sms.
But I guess after reading his friendster profile, it kinda scares me. Maybe I am afraid after all, to be so opened with someone and to know that I'm never going to get into a relationship because single hood suits me best. ( Leading one on is not my forte )
I dont know what it is about people who are so extremely fiesty and will not submit themselves to me 247, something about them makes them so unique, like a high class rich bitch.
Well through this kids friendster profile, what I've made up all about him is that, he is probably the kind of guy who will submit himself up to me 24/7 if we ever establish a relationship.
I know that I've no rights to sum up what I see about him on some crappy website like friendster. ( And You may even tell me " Eh who says he likes you KNNN! ". I dont see why he has to sms me so much if he isn't even slightly interested am i right? )
So I guess to cut long story short, he is not my type.
I was just pondering, while reading fan fiction on why I can never keep a relationship, or how I just like people and not do anything about it. I mean, I dont even try to tell the person " Hey I may like you. "
And I've came down to the perfect answer, I'm too afraid to start a relationship because I clearly know that I can never maintain one.
If I'm ever to get into a relationship, it'll probably just part time. Like the Dude or the Girl is married/ in a relationship/ married to his/her job.
But for now, I guess enjoying art and studying, my friends and family is enough for me.
I guess what I said was pretty true about myself, after all, I am sick and I dont want any lover of mine to visit me.
(: I'm fine being alone, with my tv, mcdonalds chicken fold over and medicine.
And sometimes, when you're interested in someone, you make up stupid things about the person, on how she is able to be your dream girl, but in reality, after knowing her long enough, you know that she can never reach there, because she is simply just not your type and the person who will ever be your type is your imagination.
You make up things making her/him look so perfect, but in actual fact, in reality, you can never look pass her/his flaws.
You hang onto stupid words only to be turned down. Promises are for whimps.
And, dont you find it hard? To entertain this particular person after such a long period of time.

I get bored of things very easily.

7:12 PM

I lived till(:

Monday, November 28, 2005
I invited a couple of friends to a bbq.
And I'm not even sure if I'll be able to go, weird aint it.

11:12 PM

They jabbed me and took out blood, I hope I'm going to be alright, after all, I do want to attend my brothers bbq.
I dreamt about mcdonalds burgers! Goodness, and I got marivik to buy me a grilled chicken fold over meal since they don't sell big and tasy with cheese anymore. ):

4:34 PM

I lived till(:

Sunday, November 27, 2005
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
'Cos I've been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

Thank you E, you make me very happy and very safe. Hope you're having fun in KL :D Shop shop shop.
God made you so perfect

2:35 PM

V and I were talking about menstration cause she said she had cramps. And I found this extremely funny

V says:
cant wait to get my menopause!
V says:
what? I'm serious man!
Me Says:
V says:
V says:
cramps and all. WHY CANT GUYS GIVE BIRTH?
V :

1:41 AM