I lived till(:

Saturday, February 11, 2006
Mehrisk, slept soundly and woke up earlier than me, for once, today.
She went swimming whereas, I stayed in bed and slept.
Watched television, had brunch.
Then she left for gym, and later, she is going to go clubbing.
Tomorrow, you'll see her in her worst state, with tons of muscle aches.
I want to go for tonights event, and you know what, I can go because one of the org is JH's cousin.
But parents will probably say no, and I'm too lazy to insist.
Met Vic and N at Art friend today.
On my way there, I walked through wistma and saw the gorgeous pair of shorts I spotted in december.
So I decided, that even if it might be more expansive, or cheaper or whatever, that I had to get it no matter what.
2 hours later, because we were busy shopping at nearly 6 different shops, I went back to FOREVER 21, I don't fancy the brand, but the shorts were so yummy.
And there was only one pair left, clearly, it was not my size.
It was huge.
I was so angry, I waited for two months, and just two extra hours and boom, no more shorts. :(
Went to topshop, found another pair of yummy shorts, except they $20 more.
And they were huge too.
But all in all, I bought 2 pair of socks, a polo shirt and a converse shirt.
I spent 40 plus dollars in total, and I forgot about why I went out.
Which was to get V's birthday present.
Anyway, I am extremely exhausted, I'm just going to stay at homee and study my fat arse off.
Hopefully studying pays off, because I hate it when I study and do badly in the end, waste time only.

Binky, stop being such a selfish, selfabsorbed prick.
No, never expect anything. (:

6:44 PM

I lived till(:

Friday, February 10, 2006
My friends are my life and joy bringers.
They really make my day, and they make me a very happy person.
Okay I think Eme's saliva is stuck inbetween my keyboard, HAHAHAHAHHAHAA.
I thank you girls so much, so so much and of course Vic for being the greatest guy in the world.
Despite the fact, that he had changed a bit from you know who, but he is still great and very gentlemenly.
Friends make mistakes and we all learn from them, next time, don't try to hook me up.
It was not worth the hassel, because I dont need anyone special to give me joy.
Because I've already gotten my joy bringers, and those special " someone " is you all.
I have learnt so much in such a short time.
You girls rule, Eme, Rachel, Elizabeth, Muriz, Tanny, L, Nerizza, and the list goes on.
I love you girls so much.
Hope you'll have a good valentines day!

GOO GIRLLL POWERRR. Hah, shoot me.

I dont even see why you had apologised when you repeated the same mistake or whatever you call them. I accept the apology, but if you really don't care just don't apologise.
I can't believe I went to that level and just because of one person.
Time to get up, time to get up, that's what I say and I know I'll have to eventually do it, one day.
I never knew how I liked you, and it was a very weak reason.
And now I should be able to let go and carry on.
I could handle it in school and now I'm coping with it.
I'm sorry that I'm making such a slow ass recovery whereas yours is fast.
Don't apologise, because I'm just trying to stick it in my mind that you've hurt me once, so hurting me another time, wouldn't hurt me as much.
I should have learnt something from the first time.
I'm embarrassed now, because I've made myself feel, for someone who should've just stuck with someone else in the beginging.
Who should've just asked for the bimbo back and not regret about it now.
I have regretted spending so much time with you now ( maybe I'll be ok later ).
I'm sorry, I broke my own vow of letting myself feel. Because now I've felt, and now I remember why I had made the vow in the first place.
I maybe stupid, but I'm not that stupid. Its just that I choose not to say anything at times.
But you know what, fuck it, the milk is spilt. So I'll just get the rag and clean it all up.

Mehrisk is so cool, she breathes a little loudly when she sleeps.

11:56 PM

Congrats to those who received there results today.
And, don't worry, I know a guy who failed his O levels who is now a millionaire, and another who is a producer/ script writer. Just a bunch of grades.

School went horribly wrong.
It wasn't just the part of studying, and tests that went wrong, but today, was just like watching korean drama, or those 9 o clock chinese drama shows before my eyes.
I screwed up my chinese test, and wasted 45 minutes studying over 902383921 words, when all I could do, was to write one word. But that means, I've got one mark out of dont know how many marks.
8 people cried in total today.
Everyone affected by each other, so much frustration and anger.
No, it wasn't because of the Os.
Well, yes Brown did cry when she found out her result, she should've punched Mrs L's face.
But the other 7 were affected by each other.
It was incredibly drama, and I better keep my mouth shut, because what happened is over.
We were talking in the canteen, poor Cockroach with mushroom hair, she always get pulled in the picture, one way or another.
Anyway, Eme went for LD with me.
And the teacher chased her out after an hour.
I got quite angry, so I left too, and gave an excuse/ reason that I had tuition.
Went to watch some stuff in the hall, then cabbed home with RY and Eme.
Mehrisk, Eme are coming over later!
And maybe T and L too!
Ld really doesn't rock that much now.
They changed the trainer, and she is cramping our style. We don't get to work in groups anymore to come up with creative scripts and plots and acts. Instead we've to wait for, our turn. And when Eme, Rachel Yee, Abi and I wanted to do this thing about walking on mud, or ice, or whatever watery surface, she purposly gave us super glue.
Anyway, we screwed it up and embarrassed ourselves, whateverrr.

We washed L's hair today, with toilet bowl water, just kidding. :D

7:26 PM

I lived till(:

Thursday, February 09, 2006
Took the Bird mobile today to school.
Had art, had many other subjects.
Stared at the pretty math teacher.
Ang picked on D as usual. She told her to sit in front, when D was busy finding for her book or god knows what.
They argued abit when Grace fell asleep, yet again.
It was something along the line, like " Oh don't feel insulted because she sleeps in all the other lessons but science, because she likes science "
Or something like that, and Ang said " Thats why I'm trying to make her like my subject "
And it went on for a little longer.
D told her about her point of view, that Ang shouldn't feel insulted by Grace falling asleep because she always does it.
Anyway, she spat at me today, yet again.
She spat at Jolyn, and Jolyn cried.
That fucking bitch should dieee.
She poured water over me.
And because Ann Na pushed me, I landed on D's lap.
And Ann started shouting for Demelza, like what the fuck.
So D pushed me back to Ann, and D started to shout for Calista.
One thing lead to another, basically she poured water all over me, with her ICE MOUNTAIN water bottle.
I tried to pour back, but it went on to the standing fan, lets just hope no one gets hurt.
In the end, Grace got pissed off and snatched the water bottle and threw it away, quite a funny sight.
I'm home, and I've got a chinese test tomorrow.
I know that I have a test, but I don't know how, or what, or why, but I forgot to pack in my Ke Ben.
So I'm stuck with Social studies.
I think I better start studying. 4 tests next week.
It's gonna be hectic, stressful and constipating.

16th March

$16 presale
$18 door tickets
programmes will be on till 11pm.
dirtiest dancer will walk away with $200!
For Underaged ( Non alcoholic )
Call Vick for ticks now!

I've been to Zouk only once, I think it was zouk at least, or was it some where else.
Not too sure, I was 12 yrs old, and my sister brought me in. Basically it was a club. I'm not too sure if it was the club beside or near zouk.
No, I didn't drink, I was there for some poetry crap.

Time for Social Studies, or nap. :P

2:52 PM

I lived till(:

Tuesday, February 07, 2006
School was okay, I hid behind a bush when I entered the school, the big bird was up with her uniform business once again.
I was in a shit mood, I felt tired, I was PMSing.
Saw Xiang Na again, then headed home in a cab.

I ain't going to school tomorrow. I'm bleedddinggg, Hahahhaa, let the blood flowwwww. PmsPmsPms.
Shit they extended their bintan trip, now I'm gonna be stuck at home with no T to disturb.
No Horny Neighbour.
Okay, I'm bored, I did not bring my books home so I can't study, like what the fuck.
So many tests next week, scary.
I actually checked my time table before considering the fact of going to the doctors tomorrow.
Tomorrow, there are alot of boring subjects which will not make my life any better, like free periods, or rather them preaching about Law, and god, and recess, and geography is a lesson I don't try to listen in.
I think I'm going on saturday's clubbing thing.

7:14 PM

I lived till(:

Monday, February 06, 2006
She meant something so much more.

The start of school, and He ( God ) had to make it so hard already. He made it fate for the Principal's car to be driving behind the cab we were in.
Kong and I got caught as well as two other girls.
We were made to stand behind the hall despite the fact that we brought our ties.
But besides that, school was quite fine, it kept my mind off things and Ann's crap jokes were really great.
I guess everyone is having a shit time in school too, Ann being caught up with her shit, I would probably have fell into depression if I were her. Then E having to run away because of hair?! Boo? She barely comes to school, so I guess she isn't having any shit time in school since she doesnt even spend time in school.
After school, the principal called me to her office.
We had a talk, she smeared her propaganda all over me. " Oh you look so pretty in that uniform! "
Hahaha, bite me.
I'm home, just flipped through the old school magazines. The fact that Su was prefect gave me quite a laugh. :D
Had my lunch and now I'm here.

I just want to be able to let go of any horrible feeling I have inside of me right now, let it go, just like how I did in the past. Leave me alone, and I'll wait for depression to slowly creep in.
It is better this way anyway. Time to do art-o.
I'm worried to face tomorrow, to face the principal, to face art ( I'm so bloody lazy to do it! Artist research, HUMPH ).

Yet I still feel very carefree and very tired too.
This is some crap I need to do for art

4:32 PM

I lived till(:

Sunday, February 05, 2006
The sound of the rain patting on the plant by her window never sounded this bad. It was loud, with each drop, it hit the soil hard, causing the soil to splatter everywhere. Everywhere, but the concrete it sat on.
She sat there clutching on to the hard blade, it felt cool and comfortable as it slowly sank itself through her skin. Her pale hands were colder than usual today, the wind was cruel and made her colder with each gust.
So much feelings, so much happening, in such short time. Everything gone, just with one word.
She laughed as the blade sank deeper, the blood dribbled down her wrist, down her arm, she felt no pain. She pressed harder, she wanted to feel pain, but everything was numb. It did not hurt, with each cut she engraved, she was uglier. But it did not matter, because she was ugly from the start.
She looked up, the moon light hit her face, causing her tears to glisten. Under the harsh condition, the only thing that felt warm were her eyes.
Dark and cold, they were wet, warm and very red.
The moon never looked this tempting, she wanted to fly away from her body.
She did not know it was the last touch but she knew there was someone else.
Her heart in a container and her body in another and her mind in another.
Blood covered her arm, staining the concrete she sat on. She giggled and she fell.
Rain drops hit the leaves, causing them to slant. With each rain drop, it washed away the blood that were showered over her plant.

She giggled and she giggled and she fell.

10:31 PM

I'm quite pleased with myself, because I bought for myself a cd, death cab for cutie.
No I won't lend it to you, until I feel that I'm able to let it break and not cry.
Anyway, Stacy and M came over last night. We went swimming at 1130.
After swimming, L, Brown and T just reached T's place, said our hellos.
Sent them to the back gate after taking a shower.
She came over for a while.
Then woke up at 930, Fuck, this is mundane.
Basically, I had church, met my sister and her guy.
Went to Minottes ( spell? ).
Purchased my cd, now I'm home.

Valentines day is coming, maybe we're going to have a group outing? Or maybe it'll just be V and I.
It's her birthday afterall, and I do not know what to get her.
I need to do literature.
Thank you Brown for everything .

I didn't lose anything, my gorgeous brown friend is still here.

5:45 PM