I lived till(:

Saturday, May 13, 2006
I'm cape woman!

Anyway, I woke up at 6 am this morning out of great pangs of pain.
There was too much hydrochloric acid in my stomach, eating up the walls.
I slept at 2am, and the night before, I only ate salad as my dinner and was really full after that.
So by 2am, my stomach was already grumbling but I refused to eat.
3 hours later, I woke up, stomach still so god damn pain.
Dragged myself to the kitchen, Marivic wasn't even awake yet.
Forced myself to eat rice and cold fish, as to stop the pain.
Then grabbed a box of cereal, headed off to my room.
Switched on the computer, first time you see Tori online at around 7.
Watched 2 episodes of futurama till about 7 plus.
Munched the pain away.
My parents came in and wondered why I was up to early, WATCHING FUTURAMA. Hahhaa.
So I told them I woke up due to pain.
Went back to bed.
Then woke up AGAIN at 11am plus.
Watched the telly.
The whole house was empty.
Zoe came over at around 130.
We talked and talked, about everything, about Michelle. :( :) brings back 2 emotions, scarily.
Cabbed it down to EmoKIa's place.
Oh my cow, Ry looked like nightmare before christmas and she looked like a MAN HAHAHA.
Her face paint was like lao sai, on top of that, she had damn sick blood dribbling down her lips. AND SHE LOOKED LIKE THOSE KINKY BUNNIES EXCEPT THE EXTREMELY EXTREMELY BAD VERSION OF IT.
I had fake breasts, bra outside okay mine aint tt retarded nvm.
Mary Anne's was DAMN FUNNY, She had goggles which were all foggy and she wore a shower cap, looked like some gross aunty elephant.
Candice was dressed up for winter, DAMN FUNNY lah.
R, Kristle and a whole bunch of others dressed SUPER funnily.
For those who didn't come for this party, esp those who promised you would and spent your day shopping, or going out w friends, or watching a movie, you guys are fuckers.
You really have no idea how much it takes to make a party happen.
Because I've held parties before and the crowd which was expected today was being halved.
RY and Eme have put in so much for this post exam party, and you guys just backed out of it.
They needed your support and you didnt come.
So fuck you.
and you.
Imagine you hold a party, you bought a hell lot of food for lets say 40 people you've invited.
All close friends and yet only 10 people turned up, won't you be frustrated.
That's how fucked you are.
Selfish, self absorbed fuckers.
If you've held a party before, you would know how much it takes to actually throw one. And if your party was successful, just imagine if no one turned up.

Anyway, the GREAT prizes, weren't so great after all.
I tell you man, this party was WAY better than all the booze and drugs in the world.
We had eating competition, one group, four people, eat without using hands, one water melon!
Sorry, I found the party FUN
We watched the ALL of pussy cat dolls videos MANY times.
My jaw and everyone else's jaws were literaly HANGING OUT.
We watched the same video at least 4-5 times.
Yeah, and all of us have admitted that we want to fuck the lead singer, Nicole ( is it? ).
Anyway party was damn fun.
I can't wait for the next one.
At around 6, R, Ju, M, Z and I left.
I was wearing a cape, I'm called Cape woman.
M was our teacher, she's called colourful lantern cos she was wearing this huge colourful hat.
R's called the 70s dude, she was wearing the clown wig.
Z's the angel, she wore the halo ( ? ) thing.
and Ju's BIRD MAN!
Met Stacy at the train station, embarrassed her like crazy.
Waited for half an hr for Akira.
Met him, got the cash took the same train.
Oh yes Stacy is TITTY WOMAN, she refused to hold the squeezable breasts though.
Dropped by PS to get some shit from 7 11.
Akira's friends tagged along, have no idea who they are nor their names besides Mr Joey and the other guy which M have mentioned before.
Anyway, we made up this cheer.
You know the one which actually goes " we will we will rock you ! ow! rock you ow! "
Okay ours goes :
We will we will gay you
Like a manwhore
until you can never say no more
we will we will gay
like a drag queen
pierce yr nipple with a pin
wear a strap on and do the swing

then some other shit.
Met Nana.
Headed to Cine.
So now I've got the tickets!!
Headed to the esplanade after that with Akira, M, Zoe, Stacy and Akira's friends.
Went to watch a gig.
There was some malay guy who said Bye girls to Zoe and I. HAHAHAHA.
He probably found Zoe cute cos he was saying some shit after that about 'so cute '.
We received alot of nasty and good comments today.
The worst was the ahbengs.
Bloody mofos.
They were standing behind Zoe and I on the escalator.
And they started speaking in chinese " Ni ju bao ta lah! " Means you go and hug her lah!
Cos the back of her shirt says hug me
And alot of shit.
Fucking annoying u know.
And then 2 malay guys came up to M and laughed right in her face.
and they came close again and M was like " Go away, You're just gonna say mean shit. Go away pls " And we walked off.
But there were nice ones too, a malay guy approached me and said I looked nice in the cape.
Hhahaha he was with his girlfriend.
-_- I was wearing sandals, roxy shorts and a collared shirt to town/ esplanade.

Anyway, I had so much fun today.
Had my time to speak to M, Zoe and a bunch of others, finally.
Thanks for the rockin' awesome party Eme and Ry.
(: I thank all muh friends who came too! I wouldn't have been the same w/o you guys!

11:07 PM

I lived till(:

Friday, May 12, 2006
Today I had the greatest time of my life.
I woke up shit late at 11am.
Met Bean at the station at around 2 plus.
Met Boo at Bugis to shop at around 3 plus.
Shopped like crazy.
Now I've a new top, new pair of ear rings, new panties, new shorts.
Had dinner in Grapevine @ Katong with Vic, Mad mama ant and Janice.
It was great fun cos I've not been talking to Vic for a real long time.
So took a cab home with him.
It was great.
And now I've forgotten how to smoke, so I coughed when I tried smoking today.
I wanna go to Katong another time because the food there is great.
5 star chicken rice stall!

hahaha, anyway I'm going off now. super tired. goodnight world! I love bryan boy!

11:49 PM

My unicorn turned out in a peach whiteish pink shade.
Sadly, it was because of the wrong mixture of paints.
There was a little red in the white which contaminated the whole thing.
Plus there was so much lead being smudge, so now the unicorn looks incredibly dirty.
It's amazing how you can be so critical to your art work but yet some people are able to find beauty in it.
That makes me happy of course, it's like saying what I barely put any efford in, or something which came out totally wrong, is totally right.
But there's something about how people critisize my work that ticks me off.
To me it may have been drawn in perfection, and maybe that is suppose to look a little disfigured.
But the opposite person will start to critisize saying this is not suppose to be like that etc etc.
It ticks me off because if you are not able to produce what I've just drawn or if you're unable to produce what you say it should be, then you should shut up.
Because you know nothing about art.
Then again, being an artist, it comes with all the damn critisism.
It is not just the critisism that bothers me at times, it's how some people just keeps harping on it.
How when another person sees it and says it looks good the other person would come in and say loudly and annoyingly " What? Yah but you see the arm is not even in proportion and this colour, looks like shit. The wave doesn't even look like it's flowing properly "
I've got that from my brother, critisizing my favourite artist, Jacek Yerka.
His drawings are fucking beautiful and his surrealism looks soooooo yummy
Go and google him.
So I was thinking, if you don't think this look good then everything else in the world probably looks like shit to you.
I believe that as an artist, you should be able to adjust and enjoy and appreciate all forms of art.
Be it spraypaint, 3d clay moulded into a shape of a turd, water colour, crayon scribbles etc.
All you ( if you are such an irritating person like what I've mentioned above ) are trying to convey to us, is that you cannot appreciate such art, that you cannot appreciate art overall, that you're insulting artists cause you cannot draw yourself.
But my brother can draw, just that he cannot paint like Jacek Yerka.

Anyway, T was over just now.
She came over at around 950pm and just left.
Watched Lost, she kept using my computer. She was wearing funny boxers which had this huge patrick in front which said ' you think I have issues " or smething and behind, Spngebob saying " Do I look like I'm kidding to you '.
Alrighto, I'm quite awake.

everyone is an art critic, Tori, so are you.

12:46 AM

I lived till(:

Thursday, May 11, 2006
I've been using the computer since I've woken up till now.
Which is an hour.
I lost track of time and forgot to eat my dinner.
I thought it was still 7 plus, until I took a look at the clock.
Anyway, I'm so happy, there is nothing to worry about anymore and it feels great.
My tests are all over, my chinese homework is only due on monday and I'm probably going to cancel this saturday's tuition due to Pungsai @ Longkang.

I had chinese oral today and Gonghan test, it all went alright.
I can't be bothered, sad.
Today was a really sad day because my favourite Hot Math teacher, Ms V is leaving the school.
Cause Mrs wong is coming back to school.
We hot seated her during Math class.
She came into class, hoping to teach but we kept insisting to party, since this was going to be the last time we'll be seeing her ( literally cause we were her last class of the day ).
Then we said we did not bring our graph paper and she should give us more paper cos Mr Kheng gave us pizza for farewell, it's only fair that she gives us something.
But then she said that since we did not bring graph paper we cannot study, so good for us, party.
LOL, I offered the food at the back of our class, the CORNTOS!
Apparently, my classmates, or rather Drus ( cool name right? ) and Ann paid $9 for 30 packets of titbits ( Corntos! ) both in cheese and bbq flavour.
One week supply you know, cos now there are only a few packets left!
Anyway! We hot seated her.
Now I know her full name ( which is pretty cool), where she is going after teaching which is to either study medicine or do economics if she goes to the state, she is an A student, 4As for A levels, extremely smart.
She is also an all rounder, she took piano till grade 8, she teaches PE, she gets all As and she's hot.
I've also learnt she is bisexual, she asked back, and I mean, asking E if she is gay is a stupid question.
But I think she gets the point.
This is sad, cannot skip anymore math class, now must pass up homework!
She told us to hand in our work to Mrs Wong, and not to come late.
She also commented that our class is abnormally quiet, HAHAHA.
Which is true.
Throughout the whole year, I've not handed in a piece of Math homework, so her leaving will force me to do my work, so sad. :(
She is not such a bad teacher after all, its a matter on if a student wants to learn afterall.

Anyway, talking to The Cool now.
I cant remember if I'm hungry.
Probably going to go out with C tmrw!

8:47 PM

I lived till(:

Wednesday, May 10, 2006
you're supposed to get below 60 points in total to be considered an angel.

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die

21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt

Total: 60!:D

2:19 PM

I did not go to school today.
Was too tired to get up plus there was so much to complete by tomorrow.
Literature homework, my colour scheme ( oh god ). Drawing on that huge canvas which I now regret having that size.
It's so incredibly huge, maybe I am having such a tough time cause I did not sand it, it's all bumpy and stuff.
>:0( My drawing turned out like shiattttt, so I'm quite pissed with my product because that is not how I want it to look like.
Anyway, I'm going to do my colour scheme now.

It was not you who have upsetted me, but it was the realisation.
You've made me realise who I am, and now I'm sure that I'm born as a third wheel/ a break/ a toy.
It doesn't mean that if I forgive and forget so easily, mean that you did not bring me down.
Because you brought me down and broke me into tears.
But I understand and I don't say a word.
Don't talk about sex betrayal and anger to me, because you're the one who have caused all this upon me.
You're the one who is causing yourself to feel this and you can change, but you don't.
But let me get this clear, it is you who made me angry and pissed off.
I'm trying not to harp over this but I have not cried like this for a very long time, so Fuck you.
You are living in self denial.
You are who you chose to be, be it angry, sad or happy.
I'm now trying to get on with my life being happy.
I cannot blame how I feel upon anyone, because it's true we're responsible for our own feelings.
But I can't help but feel that you are the cause.

I miss bungna, and I miss elkay very much.

1:58 PM

I lived till(:

Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Sickroom Drapes
A sleepy girl; an angry girl.

Big pisser, Math test went like a train wreck.
But I really could not be bothered, I'll either just pass or just fail or fail miserably.
It doesn't matter anymore, because my tests are over.
Now all I have is Chinese oral and a whole huge wooden board to paint on.
School was pretty much a bore.
But there was Alice in underpants drawn on the board, that was a great turn on.
After school, I went home to change and watch FRIENDS.
Got ready and left my place at 4pm.
Met M in the train.
Talked like there's no tomorrow.
Visited various shops, I already know what my birthday surprise is.
She planned a surprise for me, and she totally screwed it up by telling me!
WHAT THE ()#*!()#*!@()#*@)!(* HAHAHAHA.
Sat in the Singapore art cafe to eat.
We talked alot and learnt alot about each other today.
I don't find it a big deal hahaha
I stood by the taxi queue and waited for my dad.
I had to pee so urgently and he was taking shit long.
Yet some part of me did not even complain to him.
He messaged me saying " Traffic jam "
I understood but just replied " Okay. I'll wait for you "
Even though I had been waiting for 45 minutes already.
Finally an hour plus have passed and I've been standing throughout.
As an Drama student. I am not trained like the NPCC girls who can stand for 2 hours without complaining.
But yet some part of me did not even complain.
I got into the car and said Hello.
My dad is the greatest and I can see why mothers would want to see their daughters to marry a husband who is just like their dad ( Okay some mothers at least ).
Reached home, had piano.

9:07 PM

If there is any sort of people that I like in today's society, it would be all the old couples in the world.
Something about them, growing old together and still loving each other as if there's no end, despite the wrinkles and the saggy cheeks, really brings tears to my eyes.
How the old man would still wrap his arms around the little old lady to cover her from the rain.
How he would sit beside the hospital bed and hold her hand, and talk like there is no tomorrow.
I find it extremely sweet.
It's so hard to find this special someone nowadays.
I love old people, despite the fact that I hate working in old folks home.
The problem is that, most of them speak chinese dialects (? ) or chinese and I can't speak either.
No matter how macho, caged up, heartless a girl can be, she still can't keep her emotions inside forever.
So my mind drifts off.

Anyway,there was some sort of sex talk today.
Ann and of cos the rest of the lesbians who sat around me found it irrelevant, so they slept through it.
Ann and I participated by reading out some script.
She was DONNA! I was the dude named Don.
" I'm sorry but I just lost control! "
The teacher hinted that I'll marry an angmoh next time ( HAHAHA shut up, I just interpreted it this way ).
:) hehe.
Chemistry test sucked my constipated rock-like shits.
It was so effing hot, I had to do it on some plastic shakey ( incredibly insanely ridiculously shakey ) table, outside the teacher's staff room.
So incredibly ridiculous, so right now I'm just hoping I'd actually PASS.
Because the questions are the types which I've never ever came across.
Got back english and Biology results.
My heart screamed and jumped when I got my biology results, of cos I didn't literally do that because Ms S was already very angry at our class ( we didn't really do as well as expected ).
My english results were as crap as usual.
I suck at comprehension, thank god I passed.
Hopefully I'd get over 60 for english this term, hopefully the news paper article and the oral presentation will pull my shit results up.
After school, I took a cab home with Cal and Ann.
Slept, watched friends.
If there is anything I'm glad about in Mondays, is the fact that there are alot of good programmes.
First, so you think you can dance from 8-930.
Then from 930-10pm, I went to bathe.
Then from 10pm- 12am, I watched Desprate housewives and Grey Anatomy.
Grey Anatomy is quite a good show, it stirred alot of feelings inside of me.
It's so cool to be a doctor!
To be a surgeon to be specific.
I hate the blood and shit, I can't even stand simple scarification ( it's a form of art whereby you cut patterns on yr skin and they pull out strings of your skin. I saw it on A's favourite website, bmezine. I almost vomitted. )
Anyway, this is the second day in the row I'm sleeping so terribly late.
Yesterday I slept at 1am plus.
Now 12.30am.


God, grant me the wisdom to do well in the upcoming math test in 8 hours time. Please? /o.o
She's back ready on attack
A leader
to lead not pack

12:02 AM

I lived till(:

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Love hip hop or R&B? Well get your party gear up because Club home brings you SOUNDS GOOD!
This upcoming even it held on 8TH JUNE 2006.
The doors will be opened from 9pm till Late.
So you can dance your night away!
Not only can you dance your night away, but there will be free flow from 12am-1am!
And you know how much more fun you'll have being tipsy.
There will also be a free drink after 1am
And 1 for 1 before midnight!
Yes you can get drunk before you dance.
This is opened to those who are 16 and above!
Pre sale tickets are going at $20
Door tickets are going at $25

CALL VICK@ 93383450 NOW!
So get your tickets soon, before they sell out!

10:07 PM

You can see the drastic change in T's attitude towards life.
Now the title on her blog ain't called Tarnished feelings but somethng about a lovely lovely day.
Anyway, I had church today.
Preach it pastor!
Wisdom of God, I'm going to apply it to my everyday life.
May be I'm getting back on the right track, that is if my life even have a track.
Well, I had lunch with the family at some Coffee shop along Clark Quay.
Bella and her bf didn't join us, she is off at Marsielle ( spell? ).
I saw this dude at the coffeeshop, who was probably 70 plus or maybe late 60s.
He had tattoos ALL over his body, I spotted some naked ladies even.
Well, some part of him reminded me of a cupboard.
You know when you were young, You used to stick stickers on your cupboard and think that they're so pretty.
Well, that was probably how his body was.
Until 10 years down the road, you try to peel the stickers off or the stickers have turned yellow and now you are stuck with an ugly cupboard.
Yeah that is how his body is now, to me ONLY.
What I didn't really like about his tattoos were how unconsistent they were.
It's like one picture after another, and they don't even match.
He kept having this spasms thing.
And he smoked like 4 sticks within an hour.
The people at the coffeeshop probably knows him because they gave him free lunch.
He's still beautiful nonetheless.
He's cool.

After lunch, headed to Art friends to get some art supplies for Akira.
After that, Justin got his new pair of running shoes to cater to his flat feet.
Then my father dropped me at Serangoon station and I took a train down to Hougang to meet Akira.
Today is 7th may, I don't know if Muriz can still remember.But we made this pact thing to give him his present today, cause it has been a month since his 16th birthday.
Sorta to surprise him?
He was sweating like hell due to the INTENSE light in the Hougang train station.
After I passed him his stuff, went back home, bought kopi-oh along the way.
Watched FRIENDS.
I've eaten too much junk food.
I don't want to die fo diabetes or increase risk of coronary heart diseases.
Well, went to sleep after that.
Now I'm here, after a shower.
I've to study for my chemistry test I'm going to be taking during Chemistry lesson tomorrow!
Nervous as hell.
It's damn hot #!@*(_#*(!@)*#()!@*#()!@*_!@ !!

Oh yah I saw this old lady in the train today, she's extremely skinny but her eyebags were so damn puffy.
I wonder how I'd feel like in her shoes.
So skinny everywhere but the places where you want to lose fats, you can't.
Annoying ain't it?
Ugh, Monday bluessss... :(

8:56 PM

You Are A Friendly Ex
You and your ex are just friends - great friends really.(At least that's what you keep telling yourself!)While civility is a good thing, make sure you're not secretly wanting more...
What Type of Ex Are You?


Your Eyes Should Be Brown
Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom
What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart
What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

2:26 AM

Your Heart Is Blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well.
You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return.

Your flirting style: Friendly

Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe

Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish

What you bring to relationships: Loyalty

I AM LOYAL mannnn!

You Are 33% Selfish
In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well.But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.
How Selfish Are You?
You Are 84% Open Minded
You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.
How Open Minded Are You?
You're an Expert Kisser
You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantityYou've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks offAnd you're adaptable, giving each partner what they craveWhen it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable
What Kind of Kisser Are You?
SOMEONE told me my braces cut her. What bullshit. It has only happened to YOU ( you know who you are. Hahaha ). I want to kiss Tania, she can make her tongue look like a vagina.
Your Love Element Is Earth
In love, you have consistency and integrity.
For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered.

You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.
Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time.

Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.
You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.

You connect best with: Fire

Avoid: Wood

You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation
What Element Is Your Love?
I can be captain planet
T is an itchy cunt

1:17 AM