I lived till(:

Saturday, June 03, 2006
Last night turned out to be a blast.
So being a grandma and waiting for kids to visit ain't sucha bad idea after all.
I had great fun with Eme especially since I've not seen her in god knows how long, so that was really fun. Besides the fact, that she left a trail on sand on my floor. But her repulsive story about dog mucus getting into her eye was pretty funny.. well not really if you were her, because it's kinda painful.
After that, at about 12, I went down to meet T and L by the pool.
Muriz and her boys came to the pool side too.
Boys will always be boys, throwing wet toilet paper at the opposite condo.
Talked to T, L and M for 4 hours, nonstop. It's amazing how we connect so well and well.. It makes me really happy that we are still friends for that matter.
I dont doubt friendships but I don't expect them to last FOREVER.
Yes, I think forever friends is bullshit and I've never tried to pull that forever friends shit with any of my current friends. It's such a lie, dont you think?
At around 330am, we headed to the windy field near MeiYings house. Yes it was M's idea.
So the boys came along too, I think they were Surya (?), Akira, Mark and Joey.
Talked somemore and watched the boys spass.
-_- They're really damn fucking stupid.
The use a rope and tie around Mark and ask him to jump off the railing, some sort of bungee jump which would probably hurt your body alot.-_-
L and T climbed on the Lorry for god knows what and yeah, the poor cars outside the houses.
They had to be climbed on and sat on by the boys.
Played tug of war.
T's ear got ripped, so L and her went home soon after.
Hung around abit because Muriz's boys didnt have a plan on where to go to.
But anyway, M came over in the end.
Slept till 130.
Woke up watched 3 discs of FRIENDS.
Woke M up at around 4pm.
Now I'm at her place and she's getting ready to go out with T, L and the boys.
More spassing in town, IN BOXERS!
WHOO!So exciting
LOL, T and L are already in the station and we're like half an hour late.-_- oh wells.....

5:59 PM

I lived till(:

Friday, June 02, 2006
For Leeyah

Seven random facts:

I feel uncomfortable when people look at what I'm typing while I blog even though they'll probably read it later
I hate pop bands and those oh so typical bands, conventional is that what they call it? But I like the pussycat dolls
I rub my nose alot
I'm gonna meet, L, T, Akira, Stacy, Muriz and Mark later
Eme is on my bed
I want to be able to stay out as late as I want to

Seven celebrity crushes:

Johhny Deep
Ashton Kutcher
Katherine Moennig
Hugh Jackman
Tom Felton
Zui ( does suicide girl count as a celebrity? ahaha )
Jenifer Aniston

Seven qualities I want in a potential boyfriend (need not apply HAHA):

Be assured of himself and not a jerk
down to earth
either art or sports inclined

Seven things that scare me:

Horror movies
Falling down the steps and breaking my teeth ( yeah I have alot of time to think about such things )
Watching my good friend die
Having Dandruff
Becoming boring
Losing my interest and ability to draw my art
Being unsuccessful in my studies when I've put effort into it

Seven things I like/love most:

New Zealand
On an adventure not knowing whats up ahead
hanging out with friends at somewhere which we can do anything
trying out something new, like some kinda new art ( right now I'm trying out photoshop and how to use the tablet )
Knowing that Im the most beautiful person on earth
Art in general

Seven things I plan to do before I die:

Be successful
Have an impact on someone's life
Be so happy that nothing else in the world matters and be able to stay that way just before I die
Have sex with both genders

... umm dunnooo...-_-

Seven random songs at the moment:

Losen up your buttons- pussycat Dolls
Iris- Ronan Keating(?)
Dance Dance - shit i forgot the bands name -.-
Green eyes- Coldplay
god put a smile upon your face- cold play
Insensatez- Wes Montgomery
Siempre Me Quedara- Bebe

Seven people I want to do this (Do I really? Would they really?):

( exclud. those whom Alyssa have alrd mentioned)
R the aunty
Jalore ( like she even reads this oh well )

11:19 PM

I'm doing it once again. Doing things for people and hoping that they'd do the same for me in return. It's a pointless cycle, because personally I feel that everyone should do things because they want to not because they expect something back. So what I'm doing is totally contradicting itself.

I'm turning into a grandmother who is waiting for her kids to visit her. This is so sad. I'm actually waiting for people to come over to my place to entertain me. LOL, here are the few people which I've bugged today: Muriz, T and Eme.
I'm really acting like a grandma, geez.

On a crabby note, I slept till... too late again, I feel soo lethargic everytime I do so, shitzzz.
Felt like crab.
Plopped in some pink pills if you know what I mean, and drank some pipagao.
Pipagao is godsent, it tastes soo good that it can't possibly be cough syrup.
If there's anything I hate the most, it's falling ill literally.
Anyway, spent my day on my computer, I've finally updated my deviantart and made myself a very goodlooking Id. So that's good. Spent the day trying to colour my stupid huge white board thing on photoshop. I took a photo of it and photoshop it from there.
Yeah and check out my scraps in deviant art if you wanna see what I did on photoshop yesterday.
Uhh, watched Xmen just now.
I didn't even read today, I tried playing the piano but my cramps are making me feel like a piece of turdish meat.

It's sooo warm in hereee.
Eme said an hour and a half ago that she's on her way here already and she's coming from home and she'll knock when she arrive.
Its now 947 and she's no where in sight and her handphone ran outta batt, may be she lost her way, HAHAHA.
Might be meeting Muriz and Co later, hopefully especially since I am so bored and if I don't go out anytime before tuition I might just shoot myself.

I hope the girls who are going on the UK trip have a fabulous time.
Am I jealous?
Duh, dumb nut.

9:44 PM

I lived till(:

Thursday, June 01, 2006
I feel a bit fucked up.

2 people have asked me what I want for my birthday.
Well, I want to try so many things.

Anyway, let me tell you about my day.
I spent 3 hours on eye tutorial by ox of ice on deviant art.
I guess it ain't too bad for first attempt on tablet? I'm quite silly to actually try something as hard as that, but oh well.
at around 6 plus I met M at yoshi in Plaza.
Headed to Esplanade after that.
Spassed alot, Stacy came.
What a great day :)

Okay here is my birthday list. If you want to get something for me, get something from the list. I'm quite a practical person. I hate cake smashing because it's wasting of good cake on top of that, my complextion is fucked up enough and I'll CRY if you do that.
Here are the things you can ponder about buying little me. I accept annonymous presents too! :D
1) underwear
2) the ink pen from Art friend ( I'm still dying to get it damn it )
3) paint brushes ( okay the ones which I want are probably about 6 bucks for one. hurhur. I lost my favourite paint brush )
4) different shades from black to white of pastels
5) drugs
6) tee shirts ( gotta love them )
7) arcrylic paints ( i've got the basic. there are just some colours I need )
8) handbags
9) massage ( I can use alot of those )
10) Huge bottle of Absolute vodka
11) hot girlfriend
12) okay I'm already running out of things.. errr. a chair from Ikea which wont give me butt cramps ( i'll probably get that myself since you'll dont know what kinda chair I want )
13) a drawing from Drapes ( hahaa, I'm sucha fan..-_- goddddd. )
14) a buddy to go with to the coldplay concert
15) coldplay concert ticket :D hahaha
16) a rich old angmoh boyfriend
17) a snake or any kinda reptile.

11:06 PM

I lived till(:

Wednesday, May 31, 2006
This is the upteenth time my Molten boulder and Bell are having the same quarel.
It repeats itself over and over again.
After experiencing this trauma over many times in my life, I've realised that everyone leaves the room hurt.

I dont see how can a few documents can keep someone from loving someone else, it's so stupid.
But then again, they're two different people with different believes despite the fact that they're of same blood. One is so scientific that documents matter so much and another doesnt give a flying fuck about documents. ( seriously, that's why girls differ from boys also ).
I don't see why he has to be ashamed, well maybe because he is much of a big shot in his big shot company and probably wants the whole perfect family vibe going on, which is doing pretty well most of the time. But they always have the same arguement over and over again.
It's terrible, and the two people whom I want to confide in who can make me roll on the floor and laugh like theres no tomorrow is busy in school.
For once I would rather my molten boulder play his extremely loud music than this.

On a lighter note, I'm glad my facade of being part gay is still not known.
I understand now why most of my friends rather not tell their parents about such things, it's so hard to communicate to such small town folk ( Yeah in kumpung times, everyone is a small time folk, wanting perfect children, with perfect grades, when drugs were scarce and people earned too little to get addicted to anything ).

It scares me more than it should, I don't know how friends with divorced parents got through so many quarels till the documents were final.

then again, no family is perfect.

9:18 PM

This is so ironic.
Just last night my body was rubbing against at least 200 other bodies and today I feel so empty and lonely.
Maybe it's the bitch goddess book that is taking its toll on me.
Smoking weed and getting high on coke and just chilling out with your favourite bitches never seem more appealing than now.
I just want to go out and speak to my friends, unlike last night.
Trying to compete with the music, getting lost among other strangers who don't give two hoots about you who just shoves through like how you're shoving pass them, oh shit this must be the after effect of afternoon nap talking.
Pfft. I'll go play with my hamster.

What I really hate about having so much time in my hands is that my mind goes out of control, and feelings that were gone comes back to life.
It's all in my head, all in my head.
I need a good pal to just laze beside me and do nothing.

6:29 PM

Long awaited Vaunt have arrived.
And you're probably wondering, for those who didnt, how it went.
Well, it was like HELL.
Anyway, the day started out well, or rather quite shitty.
In the morning, I met up with T after her school and headed to My school.
Tried to get homework, but guess what, the teacher told me it was English homework and I realised I already have that.
Plus The Rifle had to give shit tellnig me to wear my school uniform.
Well took a cab back.
At around 5 plus, headed to M's.
Met Bungna and Cal at her place ( M was not even home yet ).
Nana came too.
Then M finally came home and Stacy came.
Got ready.
And headed down to Mos so fucking early, 8pm man...

God, the queue was soooo long.
When I mean so long, there were at least about 200-400 people queueing up already.
Everyone was so underaged because the bouncers actually had to shout out " WHO IS EIGHTEEN" Meaning that, they'd want the people who are legal age to go in first because the queue is being seperated into two ( one underaged and one of legal age ).
Had dinner with R at some cafe nearby.
Then started to meet people, pass tickets here and there.
Headed in with R, they didn't even check Id by the way, but clearly, we are underaged that's why we didn't get a tag.
Met Tanny, Lizard, Akira, Mark, Muriz, Stacy, Nana, C and a whole bunch of people inside.
The first part was the fashion show, it was quite good I guess.
But I was really tired, cause we've been standing for god knows how long.
Apparently, Kerry, my friend which I was really close to in sec1-2, she was there.
Mind you, she won top model for the girls ( If I'm not wrong ) That means she won one fucking thousand dollars.
It's so weird, because when we were younger she could not stop complaining about how fat she is.
So this must be a dream come true.
I didnt even recognise her till she walk down the second time.
Why was it hellish?
Well, everything that happened last night was like this big sweaty blur.
Was mainly in the Smoove room, the other room ( I forgot what it is called, they play techno/ trance there ) and the Pure room ( so aweeeesomeee ).
It sucked so bad because I was running here and there, god knows for what.
And I was alone half the night because I'm oh so tiny and I can't find people.
There was once when Stacy, Tanny, Lizard and I squeezed all the way in the middle of the crowd.
To find Akira and Co.
Hahha, the things which I remember doing which involves dancing was the gay competition between Akira and Mark vs Muriz and I.
Lol Homo emos vs lesbians.
We won, definitely ;p
And I remember T and L carrying me by the legs in the middle of the dance floor on the podium bouncing up and down, fucknig funny and DAMNNN SWEATY.
It's as if we ran 2.4 within 10 minutes of squeezing through these fat sweaty people.
I forgot to mention earlier that there was guest appearances by May and Choy ( They didnt even speak. whatever), Kumar who came to entertain the crowd in a DRESS, Shaik Heikal(?) fat shit ( As you probably know how repulsive Akira's friends are, they were throwing comments about his waist line while he spoke. It was hilarious ) Kelly poon performed which was very.. out, because half the people in MOS probably doesnt know who she is and that she actually is a singer.
Anyway, I saw John chua and talked to Derek, in fact he was the one who helped me find C in the end of an hour being lost ( scary as hell. Jing hui was no help even tho I saw him ).
I remembered waiting to collect the bag with R and not being able to get into smoove cos it was too crowded.
I snuck under the bouncer and he shouted, hahaha.
Anyway, headed to Bell's place.
Woke up.
Met Vic.
I left MOS alone at 130am.:D
Dunno how T can stay till 4, it was bad...

2:13 PM

I lived till(:

Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I wanted to blog about how much I hate Christians, those who abide by God Laws, when the new testament have set us free.
When grace is more powerful than law, and that Jesus had paid the price and that is why Grace have come.
That's also why, in the first place, Jesus came to die for us.
I don't get people who say they're Christians, spread their belief around and act like total control freaks.
If you do this you'll go to hell, if you don’t do that, you'll go to hell. Fuck everything I do is going to put me to hell anyway.
Jesus came to forgive our sins, so why must you be so prudish.
I also don’t know how can people say that Christian rock is wrong.
Why in gods name is it wrong?
The point about singing worship songs is to praise god, innit? And be it hymn ( sorry my spelling sucks .) or rock or a simple guitar song which have Christian lyrics in it, isn’t it still praising god.
Just because you prefer softer music than rock, does not mean that rock is bad.
Just because it appeals to many teenagers mean that we're punks who are condemning the song.
It's so silly, how people are able to say " I go to church every Sunday, have bible study twice a week and read the bible at night before I got to bed " and just because of that, they can condemn others without knowing.
She, a messed up teenager who knows nothing but sex drugs rock and roll ( yeah babyy ), is not allowed to come to bible study because she's too fucked up.
Of course you cant say that, so they twist words around by saying that " You must change before you can accept god "
Fuck that.
I hate Christians who put up a front, forcing people to conform to their pattern.
It's so full of shit and they're so fucking deluded.
That’s why sometimes, I think some churches breed such hypocrites.

My friend told me about her friend who thinks she is putting a façade just to impress us ( her group of friends ) and that she’s become more vulgar and loud just because. Frankly speaking, if that’s so then I guess E should not be part of our circle of friends right. So what if you’re loud, noisy, crazy, quiet, fucked up. Smart, stupid as long as you appeal to us that doesn’t matter. And what bugged me the most was how fast her friend whom she was good friends with and fell out, could just jump to a conclusion as such. What bullshit. Oh just because I know you since young means I know you forever. I don’t know why my friend is still talking to that nasty little bitch but she still is. She starts to talk about whether or not God wants her to lead her life this way. What a hypocrite. You don’t talk to her ( my friend ) for so long, and now you’re accusing us ( her current good friends ) that we don’t know her as well as you do.
Doesn’t that sound harsh? Well it is. Because what you ( little bitch ) are implying is that we don’t know her well, and we’re stupid enough to put up with her façade
What shit.
Don’t talk about God to her when you’re judging her as if YOU are God yourself.
Talk about being honest and being faithful to God. She probably knows and loves God more than you.

12:48 AM

I lived till(:

Monday, May 29, 2006
I seriously need to get new lundry baskets.
If you are a regular reader, you'd probably be wondering why I, Tori, need and give a shit about lundry baskets.
Since I don't do any house work around her besides keeping the keyboard, bed and remote control dust free.
But it's come to my attention that my lundry baskets are fucked up but still usable.
This is not the first, and probably not the second but the third time the fucking lundry basket have cut me on my knee.
It's some what broken on the side?
Maybe cos Marivic was transporting the dirty clothes from the toilet to the washing machine ( in the balcony), and somehow through that process, her tiny black hands broke the sides because there were too many smelly and dirty clothes?
Anyway, it cut me. It's not deep, but it hurt like a bitch for the first 2 minutes or so.
And I cheerish my lovely legs, despite the fact that they already own 3 ugly scars ( Thank you E, for the ugliest one which buldges out. )
So I need new lundry baskets.

Anyway, the morning started off with my mom asking stupid questions such as " Are you gonna bring Marivic when you buy the cage?"
I hate it when people wake me up from my dream.
Because it'l wreck my thoughts, I will forget where was my last lying position in the bed, and i'll forget the dream.
Besides that my day was all in all quite good.
Went to get my hair cut.
The two people I met today, said it looks good, so hopefully there'll be more compliments and not criticism.
I dont like it when people critisize hair, and I know I'm not suppose to be affected by it because as long as I think it looks great, thats all that matters. But it annoys the shit out of me, when someone says it looks good ( Duh it'd make me and probably anyone feel good ), some basturd ( tends to be a friend of cos, who is a fault; as those who can only find critisism in beauty is a fault) has to cut in and say it looks gross, and keep on going and going and going and going as if she's trying to make some kinda point or trying to change the person's mind or my own. I'd be standing there, wanting to slap her, but of cos, I can't do that, judging by my petite size and on top of that, the FAULT is my friend. I don't mind a few laughs about it, but trying to change someone else's mind, or my own mind about things, just piss me off.
That's also why I hate people who like to point out the flaws of people, who judge people.
But then again, there's a saying which goes something like if you judge people this way, this is how other people see you as.
Pity, how some of my friends can be such.
Back to my day!
sorry about that.
Went to the dentist, did stuff.
Off to fish and co.
Met Charis there after much hassel of finding someone to accompany me, not like it'd matter but still company would be great.
After that, headed home with BaBiEx TeEeExXx!

Oh yes charis and I were in the train station, oh god fucknig funny.
While waiting for Babie tEeExXx she suggested that we eat my new hamster cage to pass time.
I told her no.
Then I carried on by saying, can you imagine if the metal goes into yr stomach and goes all liquidy and then goes to yr small intestine and then turns back into a hamster cage and now you'd have this huge hamster cage in yr body!
She laughed and said: no no, can you imagine if it hardens inside and becomes one huge metal plastic thing and when you shit it out, it takes form of yr small intestine. LOL the large intestine will absorb all the water out
I laughed, as if there's any water in the first place..
and I replied :
HAHAA nooo what if you shit out those hamster tunnels and keep shitting and then you know some tunnels are like bent so yr shit is all bent. and soon you realise you keep shitting all these joined tunnel thingies and then soon you'd be tiptoeing shitting becos there's nt enough space on yr toilet bowl

hahahaha, god you're stupid.

it was much funnier, trust me.

6:50 PM

I lived till(:

Sunday, May 28, 2006
Hold on for a while, I've to go and write a testimonial for Freddy.
Okay friendster is taking shit long, so I'll just blog while it loads itself up.

Today is church day, as usual.
Had shit tender beef plate for breakfast, which sucks.
Never buy it in the food court in Suntect City, cos it sucks.
Or maybe that was cause I expected the one with the brown sauce.
Anyway, sadly Daddykins had to leave for KL soon after he had lunch at home.
Slept for 3 hours, watched the usual television.
Singapore Idol is so crap.
Here is the conversation with my sister
- Ken Lim or whatever that turd is called started speaking -
Oh god, he's so annoying
me: Yeah, and he's so ugly, at least Simon Cowell is handsome
whats his name
ken lim or Lee or smething
he looks like a turd

Yeah he looks like a turd.
Somehow, you know when adverts come about, and it's suppose to keep Me in suspense, I don't feel any suspense.
Even The Scholar on starworld had more suspense than Sg Idol.
LOL The scholar. HAHAHAH.

Whatthefuck, I'm telling Baby T about a big cock.

11:17 PM

You've gotta love him cause I fucking doo!
Tori loves Bryan boy!
>:0) Maybe I'll send him an email

12:30 AM