I lived till(:

Friday, June 23, 2006
I find this picture very entertaining.
They're both wearing the same coloured shirts posing.

It is gonna be 2 in the afternoon in a minutes time.
And I woke up from a very weird, not that scary dream which consisted of me having 3 toes attached to my 4 toe.
Mmm, Ju-On appeared here and there.
And alot of my friends appeared here and there.
Uh, it's getting kinda boringgg...
Oh yes and I'm on friendster, doing my monthly or rather once my friends hit 200, I feel that I've too many friends, so I'll start to delete people off.
Good looking people is not under the list of " delete me off your 200 friends list !"
Close friends aren't under that list either
Neither are aquintances (?), only those people who have not signed in for more than 3 weeks with no picture and those who just add me for fun ( Usually I reject, but sometimes I accept cos they seem so desperate, And I really do admire their courage of adding me as a "friend" (how can you possibly call me your friend on your friendster when you don't know me, besides my gender ).)
Yeap those people go under the "Delete me off your 200 friends list!

Whoo Woman just gave me 100 RM to shop at the nearby shopping mall. I should just buy for everyone pirated dvds, they're so cheap and good.
I've got a feeling I'll get many socks ( their socks are only 2.50! And yes I've a weird taste for baby patterned socks, hopefully they can fit my small feet ), accesories and shirts shirts shirt, hopefully pants too and may be some vintage toys.
I wish I had a camera, because the state sarawak is in, is just.. nothing like Singapore.
The toy shops are really cool!

1:58 PM

I lived till(:

Thursday, June 22, 2006
Today I want to blog about porn.
It's weird why I want to blog about porn.
While looking and QianZi's friendsters profile, I started to realise that I should blog about porn.
How weird, since QianZi and porn has no link.
But I guess after realising, that the number of guys which I've known since last year compared to this year has increased.
I must blog about porn.
Because it is a necessity and also because I want to irritate the fuck out of you all, by explaining why it's so important to me to blog about porn and not about the subject, porn.

I think watching porn is a very natural thing, for guys.
Porn is too explicit for me, but I don't think watching it is wrong.
It's only wrong when you insist to have sex without a condom, now that is called stupid.
Porn is healthy, it helps you release everything inside.
So girls, you should start watching porn, and treating guys like the slaves which guys in the porn videos always treat girls.
Gee, now I sound like I watch porn.
Porn porn porn.
I don't think losing your virginity is such a big thing, however, I think it is very painful, for a girl.
So it's non advisable to try it.

Anyway, right now I'm in sarawak.
Using my cousins computer, it's somewhere at the living area except it is the second floor and somewhere behind the computer are 3 huge photos of my great grand mother, another great grand mother ( great grand dads mistress ) and great grand dad himself.
It gets pretty cold at night over here. The perfect condition to go hang around with Muriz and co at such a pretty and cold night like this.
The stray dogs are pretty scary.
Anyway, I'm shit tired.
Today I had the best neck massage and head wash, it was totally worth 7 bucks for half an hour of pure please. It was.. orgasmic.
Yes sarawak is a depressing little country, where by you need to find a steady boyfriend and you cant fuck around and fill that little void in you with easy fucks. Because everyone here are simple folk who want a simple life. It still puzzles me how can my Father be from this country.
It was raining today, and it added to the more depressing mood. But cheap clothes man!
My miserable life can't get any more miserable when I realised that T was in the air port checking out while I was checking in.
And when I was boarding the plane and saying my last " byebye and take care and have a great time studying for your Mids " she just reached home.
Talk about Fate not wanting us to meet! ( haha I'm kidding )

Oh Gay pride is this saturday, and I'll be off at a hetrosexual wedding while you gay people ( I think the main viewers are lesbians anyway. And of course a couple of homosexual boys, like Akira and his Munjern big bird ) will be busy celebrating it hopefully.
Be proud Be gay!
I bruised my knee yet again. =My skinny cousin is so hot now, pfft. And her mom said I didn't grow taller but grew fatter, gee. If I got anorexic, you'll know why.

11:39 PM

Last night was fun, tiring and exciting all put in one.
Yes right now I'm exhausted my my vision is blurred due to the fact that I slept in with my contact.
Dont nag, I know it is bad.

Anyway, I spent my day, doing my homework and rummaging through the past.
Headed down to Sushi Tei at Raffles city at around 7.
C, Al and I went to eat really good sushi, which I thought could satisfy my hunger through out clubbing. ( of course it was enough, I'm Tori, the fat basturd who needs to eat ever so often ).
Met Zoe at around 8 plus.
Headed down to Vertigo II @ DXO at 9pm.
We, Zoe and I, didn't go in till about 12am.
One thing or another kept holding us back.
First, we had to wait for her friends, then I had to wait for Hannah and R but they weren't so much trouble because they have fucking ID.
I felt really bad for JH, because Zoe's friend said she would sell off 5 tickets. I told Zoe to take it back and give it to JH already but the friend insisted that she could sell all 5 of them off, even though there were a ton of other people selling, and she was busy doing her own things.
So he had to absorb 9 tickets in total, which really sucks.
Met her sister, Isabel, she's a nice lady.
Met Zoe's 3 unknown customers, which turned out to be Calista, Gui he (?) and Nana.
Met John C, and he bought 2 tickets from me.
Bumped into a couple of people, like Cia and her girl. They left at 12 cause they've been clubbing too much or something, anyway they were on VIP if I'm not wrong, so they didn't have to pay for anything.
The first 3 hours ( 9 plus to about 12 ) was live band, which uhh.. sucked I guess. That was another reason why we were outside.
Yes I got in, despite my baby face, without any difficulty.
Lol, R's id got checked by the fucking police and they were giving her hell and being cheeky at the same time.
" whats your full name? whens your birthday? whats your ic number? now say your name backwards and ic number backwards ( or smething like that)?"
I tried the mocktails with R, and man was it great or what!!!
Yes it was so worth your five bucks. The colour of it looks kinda cool.
The first hour of the night, I was mainly with R, walking here and there, checking out the crowd on the left, center and right side.
Dxo ain't that big but the crowd which went yesterday was just perfect!
Not too big nor too small!
Bumped into JH and his friends many times.
In the end we headed to the left side to find, Zoe, Cal, Guihe and Naaaanaaaaaa.
Jh and his boys were there later on.
It was damn fucking gross cause.
Peter ( uhh murizzzzzz.. lol........ ), some guy tried coming close to me and said dance with me dance with me. Hopefully he was just joking, but I doubt that because all guys want girls to grind on their fucking bananaboat.
I started announcing to the world that I was lesbian and the perpetual (?) " go away!!! go awayyyy!!!! "
Uhh, Suddenly, Jh, Mark and Peter ( I have to say again... murizzz..... lol. Um, no Muriz doesn't like him but we know an inside joke lah! ) came damn fucking close trying to grind, of course on purpose and with no other intentions. ( okay I wouldn't know about that but I was pretty sure they were kidding around )
And stupid Peter started chanting to the beat : Lesbian Lesbian Lesbian.
-_- Lame.
Yes, and I think Soorya think he's damn funny and push my head down with his hand.

From last night, I've learnt that JH can dance very well ( crib walk! ), Mark love his nipples ( you should see him touch them while he dance, and we danced ballroom HAHAHA ) and love to fold his shirt up till his "boobs" ( bones. ) and that Soorya is actually a big Munjern ( I'm spelling it my own way. )bird. In other words, Big bird.
It was really fun last night.
I was mainly with Zoe, cause I couldn't find Cal, Guihe and Nana.
Nana was missing throughout the whole night.
I bumped into Cal and Gui he a few times throughout the night.
Ballroomed with Mark and Cribbed with JH and irritated Soorya ( yes he is the BESTEST person to irritate. )
I went up to this girl Soorya really wanted to dance with but never had the guts and asked her to dance with me man!
She got a shock.
" you and me?! "
( nods )
Then before she left, I asked her if she could give my friend her number and told her I'll totally understand if she doesn't want too, because my friend is such a PUSSY WUSSY to have no guts to ask her in the first place.
So yes she didn't give.
Mark was going around asking for girls numbers, he and his friend had a bet, and he saved my number under The cool.
Cal told me about the damn cool and cute crib walker right by the bar, I went to check him out and talked to him.
His name is Lucus and the first question he asked ( after I told him my name, and that didn't take asking because he held out a hand for a handshake already ) was whether I was a malay and that it was uncommon for chinese girls to crib walk. Mmm.
He's 17 and can crib till the cows come home. His dancing is really awesome.
Danced to the second last song with Zoe and Mark. ( God knows how we danced. Probably looked so fcking stupid especially since each of us were holding each others hand spinning around like goodness knows what )
Then left.
Met Soorya and co outside ( as you know they like acting very big and tough thus there were so many people! All boys of course. )
After sitting around for a while. I insisted on going to 711 and so I forced Soorya and his chinese friend to bring Zoe and I.
While walking there ( in the end we didn't find a 711...gee ), Soorya and his chinese friend and Mark went to hug this air thing, which is standing up due to the air blowing into it. It's not too bad if you just hug it and push it down, but when the cloth comes out, that's when you're in big trouble.
A bunch of kids behind us did the same, and the cone which they "hugged" fell, or rather the cloth came out.
The secuirity came down and scolded them then approached JH and co and scolded them and scolded dunno how many other people but Zoe and I.
Walked to Marina Square hoping to find a 711, but of course there wasn't one.
Took a cab to R's place, it was around 4 already.
My mom woke me up this morning at 7 plus to ask what time I'm suppose to get home.
I over slept and woke up at 9:11am.
I was like" SHIT R! " She quickly got up and withint 5 seconds literally. I was out of her house and walking towards the bus stop. My vision was blurred and I stank and I felt gross.
Paid 2 bucks for fucking bus transport, but couldn't be bothered because I really didnt want to go around asking in my hoarse voice if anyone had change.

Climbed over the gate, took a shower and now I'm blogging.
My mother's really stressed for some reason, must be her students.
Last night, over 5 people came up to me asking either " where is (Yeah the casual "your" comes into this sentence right about here sometimes.) Akira" or " Where is Muriz "
Tired of clubbing, no money.
My throat kinda hurts and I'm leaving the house in 45 minutes time, its 1015am now.
My mom is bugging me to find M1 service number or something, ugh.

9:42 AM

I lived till(:

Wednesday, June 21, 2006
I've done everything I was suppose to do today, besides my art. I can't find a simple digital camera anywhere in the house and I cannot find any printer ink.
So I was free, bored and have no interest in wondering what my friends were doing.
I rummaged through my drawer.
I found a book, which I wrote for an old lover, which I never had the chance to finish or to give to him.
I read it, and god, it sounded so stupid, so inlove and stupid.
I placed the book back.
And rummaged again.
I found this old file thing and found all the letters I wrote and from this particular girl.
She was and still is so fucking special. I read all of them and didn't even realise how much I really loved her back then. Only now, reading back, could I tell how much she meant to me. She gave me everything which I ever wanted and had to leave. We both don't believe in friends forever, but rather, live in the moment and enjoy it. I never regretted ever knowing her and just reading through even the little notes she gave me which she probably doesn't expect me to keep, poured back so many memories.
I was angry, happy for her and all these confusing emotions when she had to leave.
No the letters weren't the usual, hello girlfriend, or the casual I love yous. It was deep and so fucking meaningful.
And if I could turn back time, I would, and enjoy every bit of her all over again.
It would not last, but she always stays with me. I feel a little sad everytime I read the letters and realise how much I loved her and how we don't even talk to each other.
I don't know about her, but she was every bit fucking meaningful, understanding, loving to me.

David Usher is spinning, and all these old thoughts are coming back.
Clubbing later, I doubt it'll make me any happier, but at least it'll keep me thinking about something else.

I don't know who or how she really is now. I'm just too inlove with the past her.

Do I miss her?
Fuck yes.
Yes I love her every bit.

4:43 PM

I lived till(:

Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I'm fucked.
Very fucked.
Not just a little fucked.
But very fucked.
As you know, I'm already in debt, but that's okay because I've to only pay 40 bucks in total, cause C owes me cash.
Plus someone is gonna buy the Ivibe thing from me and I'm selling it at 50 bucks, so I'll get more cash.
And just recently, I received 130 bucks from my mom, so I'm insanely rich compared to my other days now.
Except I've to sell 18 tickets by tomorrow for VERTIGO II @ DXO.
What's the most fucked thing is that I agreed to do the pushing of the tickets with Zoe. But I told JH that I won't sell alot and I don't even want to go cause I've to go to Malaysia the next day. I don't want a fucking hangover on the plane.

Lol and some how I feel quite calm now.
And wanted to blog on how stupid I think Butch names are. Like erm, Drake, Matt, Xavier HAHAHA.
Yes those are my friends name and I don't refer them to those names.
You're a girl so be a girl.
Uh, anyway I'm very stressed and I spent my day doing IC, eating at Holland V and auditioning.

All I can say is



9:37 PM

I just read Jeel's blog about something so fucking interesting.
Lemme just copy and paste mm?

NIGHT BAZAAR along side with an ala ZOUK OUT event this coming aug.

RSVP for space. this may be your last chance to experience siloso beach as it is. end of the year, MoS will be opening a club there.msg me for more details.

youthempire.com"provoke, not promote"

It's like all my favourite things summed up in one night, shopping clubbing, eating, drinking. Plus you can set up a stall if you want to. mmm cheap clothes.

Anyway, I woke up at around 9 plus today with much difficulty, in the end I decided not to go and make my ic, thank god I didn't because only in the afternoon did I realise that my ezlink is still with my sister.
Anyway, Elaine came over and we did our chinese project with much difficulty. Yes we're buddies in class ( unfortunately, lao shi found Eme and I distracting thus the change of seating ).
And yes we're both from the worst chinese class, but it doesn't matter. She's kinda funny.

At around 6 plus I left to meet my sister at Californian fitness gym opposite Heeren. What I really hate about sommerset, is that there are a ton of birds in the evening, flocking in those huge trees right outside the mrt. It is exactly like a war zone, bird shit might fall anytime.
Got my card, then had pepper lunch at Dhoby Ghaut station. It's cheap and good.

Headed to Stacy's place after that. She renovated her room really long ago, or rather a month or so ago? Now it looks so romantic and less cluttered. Yes I love her room, I want to fall asleep in it and live there forever. She has a television and a computer. All she needs is a fridge.
Laid on her bed and watched Scary Movie 4, Muriz brought the dvd.
Mark, Soorya and Joey came inbetween in the movie.
Yes the movie was so bloody lame and funny.
Watched Desperate housewives and a bit of Grey's Anatomy and then cabbed it home.
I've been doing my tuition work for the past hour, goddd, I know. It is unbelievable.
And I can't remember all the fucking easy formulas, just shoot me

1:39 AM

I lived till(:

Sunday, June 18, 2006
I'm currently viewing Art Dungeon. Marta's ( dont know what's her sur name ) art is really good, and if I could draw like her I would have probably started my own comic book already.

Anyway, Happy fathers day, I doubt any father is reading my blog anyway.
Had church today and was falling asleep, the pastor was good today. At least he made more sense than the other lady.
I have forgotten to mention that I've an ugly tan line. Now my chest has this dark V shape, with the rest fairer (?) and this white line stretching across my back.
After church met Bella and Richard.
Had lunch at a chinese restaurant, the food was great.
I've a soft spot for chinese food I admit.
I've also a soft spot for hot white rice and different sorts of chinese soups.
Well after church reached home and went to take a nap.
And now I'm here.

Ugh, where the fuck is muh Polar bear!!

I cant believe that the holidays are gonna end, I'm still left with a ton of homework. Don't talk to me about my art because it's so fucking hard and I don't dare to attempt it. Call me a whimp, whatever. Lucine if you're reading, have you painted finish?

7:06 PM

I'm very tired now.
Last night Muriz was over at my place and my room was filled with the strumming of an electric guitar, beautifully done by the way.
We talked and talked till 4am.
And remembered that we've to wake up at 730am.
I woke up and bathed, she told me she'd bathe at 8, and I couldn't understand when she said it takes 5 minutes to reach harbour front.
It takes 12 minutes to reach Dhoby station, what more harbour front.
But anyway, I had to rush down to the nearby econs, which I realised it ain't so near after all, to get some stuff for her.
Left at around 845am, Kelly was already at harbour front, felt quite bad.
Met her at Macs, and it only hit me today that it is a saturday. On top of that, there was this huge sign which said " Family day something something "
Headed to Tanjong beach, which was very dirty.
The morning sun was gorgeous and Kelly's already fully tanned skin looked really yummy under it.
Tanned and in the end we left on the tram at around 12pm.

Saw the hottest teacher in my current school, Ms M.Goh. If we stayed longer may be we could've seen her in her bikini.
Ho well, anyway, Muriz left for work and Kelly and I left for Siloso beach.
We talked alot and alot, went to the water and soaked and talked.
Zoe came at around 2-3 plus.
Talked and talked and now my "recovering" flu has got worst.
Took our shower and bumped into Joyce at around 4pm.
Kelly had to leave immediately after that, but had alotta fun with her.
Talked alot again to Zoe.
It was pretty much of a talk and tan day.
It was really crowded too because it was family day.
Headed to Harbour front Station at around 6 plus.
We were contemplating on whether to take a cab or a bus back to harbour front, in the end we took the bus despite it's horrible bee line queue.

Took a train down to Clementi and met Eme there. We 3 took a cab together to Kim's party.
The food was soooo good, and very expansive, $420 in total (wtf, i know ).
It became a little awkward when the rest of Hannah Koh's friends poured in.
I find it very weird to be at a very straight party, where there were only probably 4 lesbians in total.
Something slipped my mouth at the party, and I really didn't mean what I said. It only processed through my mind when I've said it finished and I felt to embarrassed and irritated with my stupid self.
I doubt she took it to heart though, thank god.
Saw a bunch of people which I've not seen in a long time, Timothy, John Chua, Hannah Koh ( who is so fugging hot now and so darn tall! ) and Nigel.
I looked gross, sadly, because my nose was redder than Rudulf the red nose reign deer.
Hannah's brother brought speakers and booze in the end, despite the protest of someone/a bunch of people ( dont know who ) .
After taking a swig out from the cup filled with fruit punch and 1/4 of vodka, I felt a little tipsy.
Waited for Akira, that stupid fucking cunt.
We haven't left the place, but to make him more kan chiong I said that we were in the cab. To some what scare him.
Then he replied, yes I'm on my way.
Major shit.
So Zoe eme and I rushed down in a cab.
( of course we wanted him to go for the party, but Kim's mom would've stabbed him and his lover.)
We rummaged through our bags and wallets to find every little bit of cash. Every single coin mattered because we were all broke!
The uncle was really cute though.
So sat at the Serangoon station wondering where that motherfucker and his lover is.
First he say, 2 more stops.
then I called after 5 minutes, Soorya answers and says Akira is sleeping and about 2-3 more stops.
Then I called after another 5-10 minutes, and Akira answers and says 2 more stops.
Then I called after another 5-10 minutes and he said the same thing and said " really really, I'm at Kovan there already"
Then I called after another 5 minutes and he said " I've alighted now I'm walking there from Cherry hill.
So we thought he was going through this way by the main road, and we walked and walked hoping that we'd bump into him as we sang all the crazy songs in the world, its raining men! ( gross ). Ai yi ai yi yah my little buttieflieeee green red and what shit colour.
Finally after walking back and forth we found him and his boyfriend.
First thing I did was to touch the sides of his head, because he recently shaved all his hair off from the sides and left the center. Yes Mohawk.
Walked around aimlessly and waited for Muriz otuside the mrt station.
When she arrived we headed to the play ground below Lizards place to spas about.
Took photos.
Zoe fell from playing catching.
By the way Zoe, Akira fell later when you left at the same spot. ( He was trying to escape my girly hand games, which in the end he did anw -_- )
Sat around, learnt how to play the 5 cent, 10 cent 20 cent game. And Big fish/small fish.
Taught Akira how to play O'pillar, Caterpillar ( I probably spelt that wrongly ).
Taught him and his bf how to play Si-si my baby too.

But the most educational part, was when I taught them what a dick really is.. a huge ass clit.
Soorya's god damn dumb sometimes.
While I was telling Akira that when babies were formed, the doctors only can tell if it's a male of female when the clit grows big, which is now, a dick.
Then Soorya pointed at Akira and laughed, as if he didn't have a huge ass clit too.
They tried insulting the cunt, but of course, cunts rulez!!
How can a cunt look like some squid face shit, damn gross lah.
Dicks are like... all weird, and coming out and oozing out white stuff.
Eme left for home, then Akira, Muriz and Soorya left to watch soccer at my near by coffeeshop and I'm not home!

1:00 AM