I lived till(:

Saturday, November 04, 2006
tee hee.

I cut my fcking hair off today becos I felt like looking like a boy.
There's barely any fringe left, I really like it becos it looks weird.
He's good; http://dasrotkappchen.deviantart.com/

Fuck long posts

6:02 PM

You know, I was just thinking about people who are anti christ and how I really dont get them.
It's sucha pity that they fall outta christianity just becos they hate their church and I really dont understand how they can love satan, after what they've learnt in church.
I can understand why people are able to lose hope in God, my sister doesn't believe that God exsists.
But I really dont get the whole " I love satan " crap.
After what you've learnt in church, that Satan is all evil and will never bring you hope but yet they can see more hope in Satan than in God.
And it's even funnier when they believe in spell books and all that crap.
I believe that serious "satanists" won't actually publisize themselves out to the world but instead hide in a dark corner and master black magic, am I right.
I find it insanely stupid, especially for people to buy something which doesnt work.
Like a spell book for instance, it's so funny when someone told me that she wanted to buy a spell book.
I dunno, I guess she really believes in it?
It's like selling merchandize man..
It's like selling coke saying that it's fizzy and cooling blahblah, and then the consumer buys it becos it's popular and becos it's cool!
You know, cos Goth is cool to some people, especially young people.
Seriously, do you think a spellbook online can actually work, I mean if you really wanna get a working spell book you've to go to the "under world" or something.
To get something outta the odinary you've to go outta the odinary to find it.

I was torn between whether to laugh or to feel sorry.
I think I'll laugh, HAHAHA.

2:41 AM

I lived till(:

Friday, November 03, 2006

From Z's blog.

Well, I finally went out after not going out... for.. the past... i dunno how many days.
I had auditions once again, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get the part which I really want, some sort of being which is inbetween, neither an angel nor the devil.
:D its pretty cool.
Cheryl, this kid which I worked with is such an amazing actor, it's almost as if I'm acting with someone older.
She's really good with emotions and she's so tiny, really cute and funny.
I hope the other sec one girl doesn't get the main role becos she's not good at emotions.
Even though I think the script is pretty sucky but apparently the trainer which is directing our thing now, trained a school last year and they got Gold with Honours.
Only 4 actors but they could act really well, hated the script and found the play boring when I watched it though.
Anyway, after Drama, I headed down to Bugis to meet T and L.
Hung around and ate a bit while we waited for M, Ju and Z to arrive.
L is really damn fucking funny man, she's like this big mouthed cocky sonnafabitch.
We headed to the Blu cafe after everyone arrived.
When we sat down, T saw Matilda, some singapore idol bullshit woman.
L and her big mouth went " Sia lah! I thought she was fucking fat, she doesnt look so fat"
She was suppose to be only telling us but you know she speaks so loudly then she went on ' Eh actually hor She doesnt look as ugly as she was on tv. On tv she's like fucking ugly "
Damn funny.
So the food sucked but the chairs were comfy and stuff, alotta people who were older than us were there.

After that headed down to Gas house to check out some gig. Which really sucked in the end. The place smelt of dead roaches, as if someone or soemthing has died there and have been rotting for the past few months. There were so many Mutts and Minahs ( Mutts are the male version of Minahs, and Minahs are those Malay girls who wear thick eye liner and speak with gross malay accents who think they're really cool and think that being gangsta's really cool, basically pretty posuerish. But most of them are gorgeous, cos they've got really nice features. ) It was pretty disgusting. We had to wait for an hour for them to start. The first band, had twins, 2 cute geeky boys with emo specs and black rock band tees. But they sounded like fuckshit, he totally ruined the song Dance Dance by fall out boy, he could scream really well though. Anyway T and I left half way cos we seriously couldn't take the music. It was very loud and smelly sleezy blahblah.

I really like bars with vintage furniture or those re used shit, but theirs wasn't just reused, it looked gross and crummy and smelly. As if someone had pissed on it and haven't washed it off.

Went home with T, haha she just showed me a lesbo show. Anyway.. I'm gonna watch it now.

I've got My Chemical Romance- The Black Parade album and Muse- Showbiz album. Yeah I buy stuff pretty quick.. HAHA.. nawh it was my bro who bought them cos I told him to do so. <3

I've been listening to Muse on repeat since the morning I woke up and have almost finished my GayBoys.

Oh yeah L and her big mouth insulted a black guy in Gas House.. On top of being sorta a racist, she's also a butch. Wah lao.. Confirm will get bashed up one day. HAHA. She is sooo cocky and funny man.

11:42 PM

I lived till(:

Thursday, November 02, 2006
WTMuse is fucking amazing, thank you V.
I'm gonna get my mom to get me their album this sunday as well as My Chemical Romance.
Oh yeah, you guys should check out Evanescence's music video, I cant remember the title but it's the first track of her first album.
It's pretty cool.
nOtTInG MuCh RoCkIn ObEr hErE.
Sorry just bored.
I've been talking to N lately, haha it's been a while but she's still as fun.
Haha, I just killed a cockroach and it flew onto my shirt.
Will upload new things soon.
There's drama for me tomorrow.

Queen, please watch.


11:15 PM

So my art teacher is leaving for good, without giving us a reason.
Instead of getting the best, we've been given the second best.
There are only 3 art teachers in our school.
She's wacky and critical.
She keeps wanting us to put our 100% into everything we do, but obviously we can always do a better piece.
She's very flat and straightforward.
It's bearable and she she told me that my colours are flat and boring and that my sketching skills in sec1 is much better than now.
I dunno, I just really don't like it when people point out out the obvious.
I hate my huge art piece, the paint is chipping, there's bearly any shading etc etc Even though I probably spent about 60 hours on it.
But hell, its an extremely huge piece.
That's how my two art teachers differ.
One is pretty neutral about things and talk to us about stuff frankly and praises us when we do good.
The other critisizes and tells us what we should improve on.
I'm being bias, yeah duh, but man I cant believe my art teacher is leaving school for good, I really wanted her to see us through our Os.
Ah well..

I dreamt that I was in a carnival, it was spooky and very interesting.

12:38 PM

I lived till(:

Wednesday, November 01, 2006
My aircon is now producing a really weird sound.
Anyway, I had to go back to school to study and that was about it.
Just talked to C about stuff, seriously our school is.. I won't say stupid but really not what a methodist school should be about.
I guess people do expect more from a methodist school, after all it's all holy and stuff and we shouldnt lie or cheat or be selfish.
It's just like being in a muslim school except they're far stricter and you've to wear that cloth thing over your head ( Too-dong? )

Was spending my afternoon photoshopping the halloween pictures and taking photos of myself for BellZ.
Yeah I'm not that good at photoshop and after spending so much time on it, I keep forgetting to save my stuff before working on it again.
So my really good photographs turned out blur and fucked up.
Was pretty pissed off, but I really didn't want to re-do the whole farking thing again.
This is a very pointless post, I'm very sorry to have you read such a boring post.
Yeah so this afternoon was pretty.. boring to share.
But it was interesting to me, becos I gotta do alotta things and my legs and arse went numb for few minutes at times.
There's alotta things that is happening now, but sadly I cannot talk about it anytime soon.

I had a really weird dream of a close friend of mine dying and me shouting at her ex lover. And when I woke it, it still felt pretty real. I was still angry.
I've been pretty angry and uphappy about things lately, critisizing people and magnifying their flaws.
It's pretty bad, so I for today, I've decided not to critisize anyone or anything ( besides the above which is the school).
Yeah I've learnt that being unhappy about things aint gonna make anyone else happier.. haha not like I even care.

Yes a little extra self centered today.

My bio teacher texted me this in the evening before i went to slumber land " Tell everyone that there wont be breakfast anymore. thank you"
She buys for us breakfast becos she's kind and she really wants to motivate us even though we're noisy and irritating.
I replied with an Okay.
After an hour or so, she replied " haha I was just kidding :)"
I found it kinda amusing coming from a teacher, maybe it's just one of her experiments. Maybe she wanted to see how I'd react to the "no breakfast part" since I'm such a foodie.
Or maybe she changed her mind on not buying for us breakfast and that I'm thinking too much about such a silly text message.

I'm gonna finish the whole of my math text book by the end of this year hopefully and I really wanna go for a musical sometime soon.

10:19 PM

Peter ( holding that weird shit), Jon, JH, Olivia at the back.

Thursday Triplets for En.


12:47 PM

I lived till(:

Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I got in for SYF.
And halloween was pretty much a flop, especially since I could not take off my jacket throughout the whole night cos the bandages decided to come lose.
And for the first time, the boys actually dressed so much better than the girls, excluding Olivia.
Yeah they spent about 50 bucks on their outfit, excluding Akira since his was his school uniform and the tattoos and piercings just added on to the irony and freakishness in a way.
So went all the way to Holland V to hang around at the farking car park.
Had dinner, REALLY GOOD food.
It's not Zoe's fault becos we insisted on going.
So we've all learnt something today, which is to plan out our outing before buying expansive outfits.
Mine only costed me about 3 bucks, since the bandages were sold at 60 cents each.
Hung around the car park till 10.
Took a cab home.
I still had fun.

So I was a Mummy, Ann was a dead soldier with pins all over her body literally, Jism Dracula(r ?), Akira a school boy, Jon(?) some weird shit like some sorta construction worker uniform? but it's white with blood splatters and he had chains ( real chains) all over so tt he can chain it to Peter's shoe and walk him around and yeah he had a mask, Peter was a Grim reeper(?), Olivia a witch I think, but no hat, Muriz a retard. LOL

Watch this, for those who like guitars and like Somewhere over the rainbow, really good
Quite a boring halloween.. But Ann got me a pumpkin and that really made my day :)

10:50 PM

I lived till(:

Monday, October 30, 2006
fwalala. Dont shoot me, this was my first black ink and white water colour painting.There's more, I'll post them another day. I want the birthday girl to see it first of cuzzz.
Fat head, mehmeh, DOMO DOMO!!! and my wall.. ^^>
Girls in tight dresses who drive w mostaches. Inspired by Shane and Jenny from the L word.
No it's not suppose to be them. <33

Abis drawing, bloody cute, no? <33

1:54 PM

I lived till(:

Sunday, October 29, 2006
I'm crazy over him.
BellZ. *o*


11:04 PM

So I've not been typing good posts lately, and I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon.
Too lazy and cant be bothered.
Yeah thats it.
Well here are a couple of things which I've finished.
I've finished my extremely beautiful art piece which will be given to a dear friend of mine.
After spending two days on it, I've finally taken a shower today!
Once again, I've exaggerated.
Umm.. I've not bathed since.. thursday night.. I think, oh shit I cant remember.
And, I've finished the whole season of Ouran High school Host Club.
I was moved by freaking Anime, yeah thats the first.
I've finished watching 3 lesbian movies, The incredibly true adventure of two girls inlove ( A VERY GOOD MOVIE WHICH YOU MUST WATCH), Robins hood ( sucks but it's a cheap production to raise funds for something something..) and Kissing Jessica Stein (?) ( It's not too bad but the first one was way better).
Tina from the L word acted in The incredibly blah blah, such a long name, the movie's really old and she looked so extremely cute in it.
And after watching a handful of lesbian shows.
I've realised something.
Sugar Rush ( a british Lesbian production), South of Nowhere ( a lousy American lesbian production which I cannot stand, the acting sucks shiatttt.. or rather the lines were really bad?), Robins Hood, The incredibly blahblah. All the the main characters of these shows are mixed couples.
One black and one white.
I'm not racist, but sheeeettt mannnn get better looking actors!!!!
Anyway, you can find the incredibly blahblah on Youtube, its really good, seriously.
There are ten parts to it on youtube and you don't really have to wait for it to load.
You open 10 windows, type down The incredibly blahblah part 1, then the next window the same thing except part 2 and so on.
And it'll slowly load as you watch the previous parts.
( yeah common sense.)
(okay thats the link to the movie which I've been talking about.)
So I've started on a new piece, 2 lesbians.
Inspired by Jenny and Shane from the L word.
( Shane/Katherine Moennig's the hot dyke in that little clip)

There are a few things which I can't stand in this world, but have to live with.
Horror movies, Cab snatchers, Stupid People, Selfish people, Children being raped and stupid racial wars.
And today a particular blog has reminded me about how much I really cannot stand people who take self pity.
It's a sign of weakness, and I'm not against people who have weaknesses, I mean all of us do.
But seriously, the whole attention thing, and I'm so pathetic so please pity me.
And the whole " I'm keeping everything inside and I gues... the world is a much better place without my emotions" and shit is so BS.
I guess the only reason why I can't understand this BS, is becos I've been there and I've done that and I've also realised that I don't need self pity to make myself seem or feel better in any sorta way.
You might say that everyone have different reactions, but I still really.. dont get it.
It's silly and stupid.
Especially people who cry over people who don't notice them.
Or people who cry over their ex girlfriends infront of their ex girlfriends and all that stupid shit to get attention, seriously, why would your ex lover want you back if you keep crying over him or her. It doesn't make any sense and I find it so repulsive.
To me, I think the ex lover would only come "running" back becos he/she feels pity for you and not becos he/she wants to be with you.
I cannot stand emo people who have good lives and still are able to feel emo about it.
Self pity.. is bullshit.
Yes everyone takes self pity at times, but overdoing it just shows you what a stupid fuck up you are.
Everyone's fucked up in a way, but you're more fucked than anyone becos you're not independant.
Is being dependant a bad thing, hell yeah its a bad thing.
Yeah we're all being guarded by our parents now and our parents are protecting us from the bad things in the world but I'm sure all of us no matter what age have some sort of "survival" thing going on if we're left on the street.
You shouldn't be too dependant especially when you're already 15 or whatever.
It's dumb, whiney and irritating.
You're whiny and dependant now and people kiss your freaking feet becos you're pathetic and you claim that you've a pathetic life.
But when you're 30 years old and you're stuck in a shit job, and still as pathetic as your were when you were 15, no one's gonna give a shit.

Seriously, some people need to get a life.
What does get a life mean?
It means, get a job, do something instead of wasting TIME.
whoo. I'm not angry, its just a personal view. Yeah I know tons of people who take self pity all the time, its just a trait which I do not find appealing. Infact it disgusts me.

1:50 AM